Sunday, July 24, 2016

Is Lionel Messi Having A Mid Life Crisis?


Yup, that is Argentina's prodigal son Lionel Messi just chilling, with some blonde ass hair.  Now why on earth would he do that?  He's still the best soccer player in the world and considered by many the best ever, and has a smoke show of a wife and I'm sure millions of other dimes that would gladly hop on him.  So what is it then?  He's only 29, which is actually younger than the second best player Cristiano Ronaldo who's 31.  So it may not be exactly a MID life crisis but that's what we'll go with.  I mean I didn't know he had that nasty beard (which looks awful on him by the way) until I saw him destroy the US in the Copa America, and I noticed he recently got that tat sleeve on his arm.  And by recently I mean last year I think.  Now the hair?  Look I get blonde hair is sweet.  I'm blonde it looks great right now in the summer, but when it gets darker in the winter I hate it, I want the sandy blonde back instead of the dirty blonde.  (Side note I hate when people call it dishwater blonde because that sounds way more disgusting than dirty blonde. But that's unrelated.)  But Leo was never blonde ever I don't think.  So what gives?  If he was like 20-24 and he was getting the tats, the hair, the beard, I'd chalk it up to a young star blowing some dough.  But once you hit like 27/28 in my mind you're a real adult from there on out.  So even though he's 29 I'm now expecting him to go buy like a leather jacket, a shitty sports car, start throwing down tons of viagra, and have an affair with an 18 year old.  If any of this happens you heard it here first.

PS- I see where Messi is trying to up his look when the guy who's right there with you for best in the world looks like this:

I'm not even a good soccer player, let alone a pro, let alone one of the best and I want to do anything I can to look that good.  Makes me want to hit the weights right now.  Goddamnit Ronaldo.


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