Is Lionel Messi Having A Mid Life Crisis?

Yup, that is Argentina's prodigal son Lionel Messi just chilling, with some blonde ass hair.  Now why on earth would he do that?  He's still the best soccer player in the world and considered by many the best ever, and has a smoke show of a wife and I'm sure millions of other dimes that would gladly hop on him.  So what is it then?  He's only 29, which is actually younger than the second best player Cristiano Ronaldo who's 31.  So it may not be exactly a MID life crisis but that's what we'll go with.  I mean I didn't know he had that nasty beard (which looks awful on him by the way) until I saw him destroy the US in the Copa America, and I noticed he recently got that tat sleeve on his arm.  And by recently I mean last year I think.  Now the hair?  Look I get blonde hair is sweet.  I'm blonde it looks great right now in the summer, but when it gets darker in the winter I hate it, I want the sandy blonde back instead of the dirty blonde.  (Side note I hate when people call it dishwater blonde because that sounds way more disgusting than dirty blonde. But that's unrelated.)  But Leo was never blonde ever I don't think.  So what gives?  If he was like 20-24 and he was getting the tats, the hair, the beard, I'd chalk it up to a young star blowing some dough.  But once you hit like 27/28 in my mind you're a real adult from there on out.  So even though he's 29 I'm now expecting him to go buy like a leather jacket, a shitty sports car, start throwing down tons of viagra, and have an affair with an 18 year old.  If any of this happens you heard it here first.

PS- I see where Messi is trying to up his look when the guy who's right there with you for best in the world looks like this:

I'm not even a good soccer player, let alone a pro, let alone one of the best and I want to do anything I can to look that good.  Makes me want to hit the weights right now.  Goddamnit Ronaldo.

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Kevin Durant Signs With....The Golden State Warriors

http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/16759826/kevin-durant-announces-sign-golden-state-warriors

I've been on record saying I hate this move even when it was just speculation.  It's an unnecessary move on both sides.  The Warriors don't need KD, they won 73 games and should have beaten Cleveland for the title again.  KD doesn't need the Warriors, OKC should've beaten the Warriors in the West Finals.  Apparently (according to Adrian Wojnarowski) KD was pressured by his inner circle to make a big splashy move for marketing.  Now the Warriors lose some of the depth that helped make them so great, though it probably wouldn't be hard to convince good players to sign for less because they'll win a lot of rings.  You'd think because I'm a Warrior fan that I'd be all about this move, but I HATE it.  I wanted to see Steph continue to dominate and KD will certainly impact that.  Now what's he gonna score?  26 a game instead of 30+?  Not a fan.  And how will KD fit in the free-flowing ball movement oriented offense?  If you remember the GS OKC series he played a LOT of isolation and it did not work.  I don't know if Kev can fall in line, I feel like he'll try and be the number one option.  Also this makes the NBA playoffs so much less fun. Nobody in the East is still close to competing with LeBron and Cleveland, and now the only team in the West who could maybe compete with Golden State is San Antonio.  I hope he leaves soon, this move is actually more spineless than Bron Bron going to play with his pals in South Beach.  But as my heart lies with Steph I have to remain a Warriors fan and therefore root for this super team.  I hate myself already.

PS- Get a load of the balls on Nike.  You could've had Steph still if you didn't botch his goddamn name and use recycled slides you never edited during your presentation.  You know what Fuck Nike, I ordered shoes last week and they still haven't even shipped from Nike yet and they were supposed to arrive last Thursday.  They're lucky adidas and under armour suck so much.

For Nike, this is a coup: It wanted to slow UnderArmour's momentum with Steph Curry and Warriors. Now, KD promises to impact Curry's star.

— Adrian Wojnarowski (@WojVerticalNBA) July 4, 2016

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LeBron Enjoys His Offseason By Indulging In Some Overdue Narcissism

Remember Kobe's last game and Kanye West was there wearing this?

Well it turns out our old friend LeBron James is on a yacht with his banana boat gang and he was wearing this:

Now I don't know if he had this made, which would be lame.  If someone sent it to him, which would be awful, or if he saw it online and bought it/demanded a free one, which would be straight pathetic.  I mean, how can you be such a douche?  That's maybe a decent shirt if a pathetic LeBron/Clevleand fan was wearing it, but LeBron wearing a shirt in his own honor?  Easily a top 5 all time douche move.  If you don't see Bron Bron rocking the "I feel like Bron" tee and don't immediately roll your eyes at it you are also probably an asshole.  And if you actually think it's a good move?  I don't even know what to tell you other than we will never get along.  We could agree on everything else in life, but I would never get past that.  Is that a me problem?  Yeah, but LeBron really should ease up on the feeling himself.  I don't care if you're the best basketball player on the planet and you just brought a title back to a city of losers, that doesn't give you the right to continue being an asshat.

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