Monday, October 31, 2016

LeBron Takes Some Savage AF Shots at the Warriors With Halloween Decorations.






Boom.  Roasted.

Is LeBron James the pettiest human being to ever walk this earth?  I'm not posing that question jokingly.  He really may be.  Look, obviously as a Warrior fan and LeBron hater, this gets me riled.  But for real?  It happened, let's see...oh, right, 4 months ago!  This 3-1 lead joke hasn't been funny for a few weeks at least now.  It was pretty funny when it started, I admit I had a good chuckle at some of them, but it's dead.  So leave it to tone def Bron Bron to stab a few more holes in the corpse.  What else did he do?  Did he have a crying Jordan cake?  Did he run around pointing at people's shoes and go WHAT ARE THOOOOSEEEE.  Did he dress as Kermit and sip tea?  Was he dropping daaaamn daniels on people?  Did some how involve Ken Bone and the condescending Wonka too??  And the headstone cookies.  You murdered them Bronny?  Did ya?  We all know Steph Curry owns your brain
 but he's still easily the second best player in the world.  Klay is top 15 as well.

This is maybe the biggest "look at me" moment by LeBron ever.  You know when you see a guy in a super expensive sports car and you think "wow that guy must have a small dick?"  (Maybe you don't think that, but that's the stereotype.)  That's what this is.  He knows what could (and likely will) happen when the Warriors figure it out.  So he's trying to remind everyone that he beat a 73 win team.  Remember that?  He's the great savior and the Warriors are the biggest chokers ever!  But yet he's still shook.  A real man wouldn't go to such lengths, only a man with underlying confidence issues would.  A man who's afraid of what's coming.  So get your shots in now, we'll see who's laughing in June.

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Tuesday, October 25, 2016

2016-17 NBA Preview

I've never done a season preview for anything yet, so this is my first.  I'm going to tell you where I think each team will finish in the conference and why (not specific records because that's insane), who will represent each team in the Finals, who I think will be the champs come June, and then some awards.  Like MVP ROY stuff like that, nothing too crazy.  Pretty standard stuff.  I'm pumped for tomorrow and if you're reading this hopefully you are too.  If you're not then stick around, read this, read some of my other blogs.  Give me some feedback or whatever.  I'm not telling you to do those things because it's your life, but do those things.  Here we go!

Western Conference

1.) Golden State Warriors

I mean, obviously right?  The best team in the West the last two years just added Kevin Durant to a roster that includes Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, and Draymond Green.  Throw in one of the best benches in the league and the Dubs dominance will continue.  KD is already fitting in great and it'll only get better as the year goes on.  The Warriors could (should) trade for a shot blocker because the man they drafted to essentially be Festus Ezeli's replacement (they're both athletic 7 footers from Vanderbilt for god's sake) Damian Jones isn't really NBA ready, and Javale McGee is a wildcard.  Other than that this team should roll right to the Finals barring any major injuries.

2.) San Antonio Spurs

Some may think the Spurs will take a step back this year, and they will.  I don't see them winning 67 games again, but they're certainly the second best team in a West that as a whole is getting weaker.  You replace legend Tim Duncan, who didn't play as much or as well as usual last year, with Pau Gasol who is still a strong producer in the league.  Tony Parker and Manu are getting older and it is starting to show but they're still good enough to keep the Spurs as the main threat to stopping the Warriors from reaching a third straight finals.

3.) Los Angeles Clippers

I think the Clippers could easily be the 2 seed in the West this year, I went with San Antonio because they're much more consistent.  The Clippers have more star-power than the Spurs and have a great starting 5.  The problem as usual with the Clips will be bench play and health.  If their stars stay healthy, and more than just Jamal Crawford has an impact off the bench, then there's no reason they can't make their first West Finals since being in Cali and even challenging the Warriors.

4.) Portland Trail Blazers

Here's where the West gets tricky for me.  After the 3 contenders it's about 7 teams who could round out the last 5 playoff spots.  I think the Blazers will build on their success from last year.  A year where people thought they'd fall of A LOT.  Lillard and McCollum are a top 5 backcourt and they added some bench pieces in Evan Turner and Festus Ezeli.  I think they'll have a good regular season and maybe win a playoff series but won't do more than that.  Expect a big year from Lillard though, I think he may get some MVP consideration.

5.) Oklahoma City Thunder

I don't expect the Thunder to all of a sudden go back to being a lottery team.  They have Westbrook still, and throw Victor Oladipo into the backcourt with him and that's a solid tandem.  Still have Steven Adams and Enes Kanter down low.  Losing Serge Ibaka and KD hurts a lot obviously but the foundation is solid enough to keep OKC in that mid-40 win range which should warrant a top 5 seed in the West.  Plus how awesome would it be if they were the 4 or 5 seed and won to set up a matchup with Golden State.  You know you'd watch just for the Russ v KD drama.  Like if Cleveland hadn't been ass when LeBron abandoned them and made it as like the 8 seed vs Miami.

6.) Houston Rockets

You could argue the Rockets being 4 or 5 honestly.  I don't think they'll win 60 games like in 2014-15, but I think Houston will have a great regular season.  Because they will score, and score a lot.  Mike D'Antoni will have his pick and roll rocking with Harden and Capela they added another shooter in Eric Gordon.  The defense won't be good, but expect a lot of shoot outs with this team.

7.) Utah Jazz

This is the year the Jazz make the jump from 9 to in the field.  They won't win a series in my opinion, but they'll finally make it after failing last year when everyone said they would.  Great defense and some good scorers plus a guy you can trust in the clutch with Gordon Hayward.  Add in do-it-all vet Boris Diaw there's no reason the Jazz should fail to sneak in the playoffs this year.

8.) Memphis Grizzlies

I wanted so badly to put the Minnesota Timberwolves in here, but I couldn't.  The Grizzlies will be a lower seed again this year, in part because the talent isn't what it has been, and because their best three players, Conley, Gasol, and new addition Chandler Parsons, are all coming back from injuries.  I think it'll be a slow start but Memphis will do just enough to sneak in and get bounced quickly.

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9.) Minnesota Timberwolves

I wanted to put Minnesota in the playoffs, I want them to make the playoffs, but I think they're a year away yet.  The defense is already much improved being number 2 in defensive efficiency in the pre-season.  They were number 27 last season.  Tom Thibodeau is known as a defensive guy.  They have great young talent in Karl Towns, Andrew Wiggins, Zach LaVine, and rookie Kris Dunn.  And plus Thibs has never not made the playoffs as a head coach.  He did take a Chicago team to 60 wins in his first year there, but they were a playoff team the year before.  Minnesota won 29 games last year.  A step up from 15 the year before, but pencil them in around 40 this year.  The West isn't full of 7 50 win teams like 2 years ago, but there's still plenty of good teams that have been there before and aren't losing a lot of talent.

10.)  Dallas Mavericks

Unless the Mavs make a mid-season block buster trade, they will fall.  They added Seth Curry, who I think will be a very good bench player, injury-prone Andrew Bogut who's still effective when healthy, and Harrison Barnes to a roster that seemed to show it's age last year.  Dirk literally can't play defense anymore and Bogut is getting old himself.  They gave Barnes a max deal and he can't shoot to save his soul in the preseason.  Making him your number 1 option, should never be an option.  He was great as a complimentary player in Golden State.  He will struggle in Dallas unless you surround him with great players and tell him to shoot when wide open.  He doesn't create his own shot very well and he couldn't hit anything in the finals last year, and it appears it has carried over.  Dallas will be on the outside looking in this year.

11.) New Orleans Pelicans

Health is the big concern with the Pels.  AD is often injured and has to do everything for his team.  This isn't a good defensive team.  I love adding Buddy Hield, but they need more.  Tyreke Evans and Jrue Holiday are expected to miss time to start the year.  They didn't do anything really to improve a team that won 30 games last year.  Davis needs more help if New Orleans wants to make the playoffs anytime soon.

12.) Denver Nuggets

So much young talent, how will it blend together?  This team could knock on the door of the playoffs, or could win 28 games.  Mike Malone is a good coach, but it's time for the Nuggets to maybe move some guys they don't see as part of the future of the team and find a foundation with the guys they do see as part of the future.

13.) Phoenix Suns

They have some good young guys, but don't expect a lot from the Suns this year.  They found their 2 guard of the future in Devin Booker, drafted to add some front court depth, but still a lot of raw guys up there like Alex Len.  It's going to take another year or two to really see what they have in them.  In the meantime they should look to move either Eric Bledsoe or Brandon Knight for picks or more wing or front court depth.  Maybe a definite backup point guard.

14.) Los Angeles Lakers

Love D'Angelo Russell, Julius Randle, and I think Brandon Ingram will be solid.  Luke Walton will be a great head coach there.  While they continue to rebuild the Lakers should look to move guys like Nick Young and Lou Williams to try and add better vets, or more young guys/draft picks.  Maybe even consider moving Jordan Clarkson for a less ball-dominant backcourt mate for Russell, or move him to the bench if he'll accept it.  The Lakers are still a ways away from being the Lakers again, but the future is bright for the Lake Show.

15.) Sacramento Kings

I have the Kings here because I say this is the year they finally trade Demarcus Cousins.  He's not coming back to Sacramento, so they should finally trade him and get a lot back in return.  End what has been an ugly marriage from the start.  The Kings need a fresh start, because their franchise has been a mess for a while now.  They need to get their front office in order, find a coach they'll be happy with if they aren't with Dave Joeger, and then start building through the draft with actual good picks this time.  No more adding random vets and hoping it'll work out.  No more firing 78 coaches a year.  The Kings need order and they need to start by letting go Demarcus.  They both need that.

Eastern Conference

1.) Cleveland Cavaliers

Not much has changed for the defending champs.  Still got Bron Bron, Kyrie, K Love, JR, etc.  The super team that everyone forgets is a super team.  The only thing the Cavs are missing is a backup point after letting Delly walk to Milwaukee.  Cavs won't win 65+ games or anything, but they should be the top seed in the East, and even if they aren't who's gonna stop them in the playoffs anyway?  Exactly.

2.) Toronto Raptors

The best team in Toronto franchise history is back, and looking to suck less in the playoffs.  They lost Bismack Biyombo who was good for them, and added Jared Sullinger, who I hate but they need more depth at the power forward.  The problem is Sully got hurt and it's unclear when he'll be back.  I still think Toronto will continue their trend of being a very good regular season team, maybe they'll be a bit of a threat in the East.  Maybe.

3.) Boston Celtics

The Celtics are in for a very good year.  They have one of the best coaches in the NBA in Brad Stevens, and a roster that was good and improved by adding Al Horford at a position of need.  Al doesn't really address the need for better rebounding as well as other centers, but he's very good and very versatile and Boston is suddenly a piece or two away from being a contender again.

4.) Indiana Pacers

Paul George is going to have a great year, and so is Indiana.  Adding Al Jefferson as a mentor to Myles Turner and as a bench scoring threat is great.  Bringing in borderline all-star type point Jeff Teague is another move I like.  I'd like it if they had a more traditional off guard instead of Monta Ellis, but Ellis is still an effective player.  Look for Indiana to have success and for the Paul George-Lebron James rivalry to return this year.

5.) Atlanta Hawks

Dwight Howard isn't an upgrade over Al Horford, and I'd take Jeff Teague over Dennis Schroeder.  That being said, the Hawks are still good, though don't expect them to be as good as they were the last two years under coach Bud.  This year they'll fall back into the mix of about 9 teams that could round out the bottom half of the bracket in the East.

6.) Detroit Pistons

Reggie Jackson missing time hurts, but the good news is it's early.  I expect Detroit to take a step forward this year (8 seed to 6 is huge, I know) though there's not much that separates them from the other 7 or 8 teams around this level and it's unlikely they'll cause a lot of trouble in the playoffs if they get there, but stranger things have happened and this year should be a good one for this young core in Motown.

7.) Charlotte Hornets

I'm putting Charlotte in the playoffs simply because they've been here before.  Twice in the last three years.  They lost Al Jefferson, but they still have Frank Kaminsky and Spencer Hawes.  Lost Courtney Lee but Michael Kidd-Gilcrest is back this year.  So the offense won't be what it was, but Steve Clifford is a very good defensive coach and I expect Charlotte to be back in the playoffs again this year, and a big year from Kemba Walker.

8.) Washington Wizards

I'm taking a risk and saying the Wizards will make the playoffs banking on the fact they stay fairly healthy.  John Wall and Brad Beal is a top 3 or 4 backcourt, the problem is Beal is always hurt.  He's great when in, just he needs to be in more often.  This Wizards team has some depth, and decent role guys.  Not a championship contender by any means, but if they can shoot well enough, and stay healthy then there's no reason they shouldn't make it.

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9.) Chicago Bulls

This year should be a train wreck with lot's of head butting in Chicago.  Head butting between Wade, Rondo, and Butler.  And those three butting heads with Fred Hoiberg.  I think the Mayor would be a good NBA coach if he were hired by like Philly, or Brooklyn, or Phoenix.  Not a franchise who can't get out of its own way and brought in two super alpha males to team up with their existing alpha male, and non of whom can shoot a 3 for shit.  It should be an entertaining disaster in Chi town this year as this team throws up brick after brick trying to sneak into the post season.  The only way they make it is if those three somehow find a way to coexist and their few shooters can consistently be lights-out.  So good luck.

10.) New York Knicks

The Knicks have playoff talent this year.  The issue is that their two biggest additions this year, Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah, are always hurt.  Melo gets hurt more often now as well.  And there's not much depth this year.  They have Brandon Jennings and that's about it.  Had this roster been constructed in 2010 then the Knicks would be title contenders.  For the Knicks to even make the playoffs they'll need their stars to stay healthy, play well, and for Porzingis to continue his rapid growth.  I think New York will fall just short this year.

11.) Miami Heat

Losing Wade and Chris Bosh is never good.  Especially when you have to turn to Goran Dragic and Hassan Whiteside to lead your franchise as Justise Winslow continues to grow.  I don't think Miami will make the post season this year, just not enough there.

12.) Milwaukee Bucks

People in my home state are FIRED UP about the young Bucks.  I think they need to chill out, they're still the Bucks.  I want the Bucks to succeed, I don't hate them.  But they're still a front office you can never really trust, and still a team that can't shoot at all.  Like Chicago bad, maybe worse.  And their only really reliable shooter, Kris Middleton, is out to start the year.  I love adding Delly as it's a natural fit, but he's still not great and expect that three point percentage to drop if he's the only guy the d needs to worry about.  This is a team that won 33 games last year and didn't do much of anything to improve.  I say they'll be around 40-43 this year, but they need more shooting to open things up for all their best players.

13.) Orlando Magic

An intriguing team, and the last of the group that can challenge for a low playoff seed.  They have some great young guys in Mario Hezonja, Nick Vucivic, Elfrid Payton, and Aaron Gordon.  But they traded away Oladipo for Serge Ibaka in a move that was puzzling to me.  Gordon is their power forward of the future, so why bring in Ibaka who plays that same position and trade away a guard which they need?  Orlando could maybe be the 8 seed, Frank Vogel is a great coach after all, but I doubt it.  Another lottery year for the Magic.

14.) Philadelphia 76ers

The good news: Philly get's Joel Embid on the court for the first time since drafting him in 2014, and they won't suck as much.
The bad news:  Number 1 overall pick Ben Simmons is expected to miss most of the year and they'll still suck.

15.) Brooklyn Nets

Just an abysmal roster.  I'd be shocked if they won 20 games this year.  Expect the worst Nets fans, and just know that your dumbass front office mortgaged your future to Boston for three washed up guys that brought you one playoff series win.  Now you'll suck for the foreseeable future and the assholes in Boston will reap the benefits of it.  You are a complete and utter joke of a franchise.

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East Champ

Cleveland Cavaliers

West Champ

Golden State Warriors

Finals Champ

Golden State Warriors

MVP

Paul George

ROY

Buddy Hield


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Saturday, October 15, 2016

Ole Miss QB Chad Kelly Slides Into Mia Khalifa's DMs for the Second Time. Ole Miss QB Chad Kelly Gets Crushed By Mia Khalifa for the Second Time.

TALE OF THE TAPE:


Chad "Swag" Kelly
height: 6'2"
weight: 209lbs
other: Starting quarterback for Ole Miss.  Swag out the ass. (I mean it's his nickname so I'm assuming that's true.)  Prob pulls a ton of non-famous chicks.  Incredibly stupid.

VS


Mia Khalifa
Height: 5'2"
Weight: 120
other: Former porn star.  Now works for Fansided.  Is a smoke.  Has murdered people on twitter before.  From a brief scroll through her tweets she's pretty funny though I personally don't like any of the teams she roots for (DC area and FSU).

Let's do this.

So for those of you who forgot or don't know it happened, or you just want to relive it, in early September Chad Kelly tried to slide in to Miss Khalifa's dm's.  It went like this:




Swag Kelly promptly deleted his account.  He later re-activated it.  Now it appears Chad is incapable of learning lessons as he tried his luck with Mia again:




I mean, really?  Such a Chad move to keep hitting on a girl who CLEARLY doesn't want any of him. Probably the most Chad move of all time.  Even more of a Chad move than when Chad Le Clos tried to psych Michael Phelps out and then got his ass kicked.  So unbelievably Chad that nobody should really be surprised that Chad did this.  I mean who hasn't been there though?  One minute you're sliding into a pornstar's dms thinking she'll let you smash because, you know, she did porn.  The next she's publicly making you look like a chump.  But to have the audacity to try it again thinking it'll be different is RIDICULOUS.  Look, shooters shoot and Chad Kelly is apparently an absolute gunner, but maybe next time try some Ole Miss Kappa girl or something.

Oh, and RIP in peace sweet prince.



PS- How about that opening line in round 2?  Basically said, "hey you know you fucked dudes on camera right?"  How did that not work?  Seems thoughtful, clever, with a hint of romantic to me.

PPS- I think it's funny she keeps destroying Kelly, but this is why chicks are scary.  If you attempt a dm slide or a line and she's not going for it this is a very real possibility.  Not on this scale of course.  I mean this is a bad example because Kelly comes off as an arrogant dick and it's easy to not be a creep but still.  Ruthless.


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Thursday, October 13, 2016

Kentucky Couple Gets Married Waiting to Buy Big Blue Madness Tickets

http://thebiglead.com/2016/10/01/couple-gets-married-while-camping-out-in-line-for-tickets-for-kentucky-wildcats-practice/




You know, I was gonna talk about how these hicks are NUTS for getting married while waiting in line to buy tickets to a PRACTICE, but I won't.  Growing up I was lead to believe that all girls want a huge fancy ass wedding that will cost you a ton of money.  Like literally you're paying to throw the longest, most expensive, and elegant party of your whole life but she'll tell you it's not a party it's a celebration of your love for each other and the fact that you will have (I'm told) infrequent sex with her for the rest of your life.  (She doesn't tell you the last part it's just known and widely accepted.)  (Also a solid 98% of my knowledge of weddings and adult relationships comes from sitcoms, what of it?)  But though this gal doesn't exactly look like a girl I would want to marry or hook up with, I like her.  Why blow money on a ball room and shit and get married in a stuffy uncomfortable church dressed in expensive clothes like a sucker when you can get married on a lovely fall day waiting to go buy tickets to see your favorite collection of teenage boys practice a sport the rest of your region of the country doesn't give a fuck about?  Honestly this may be my dream wedding, it won't happen because I doubt I could find a girl that would either like this idea, or agree to this idea and be attractive, and the tickets should be for something important and maybe not the ticket line either.  Maybe like a tailgate wedding ya know?  Something real classy.  Me and my girl getting married on the steps of Lambeau Field as it snows.  But anyway, this guy seems happy with this girl who seems happy with this whole situation so good for them.  I'd never do it, most all normal people wouldn't do it, but all the more reason to be happy for these two crazy cats fans.  I hope you don't get divorced and I hope that practice kicks ass!

PS-instead of saying "I do" they should have said "Cats by 90"

PPS- I hate Kentucky but goddamn do I love #Catsby90.  So cocky and pretty funny.  I want to steal it for my teams but I don't know if I should.  I might.  I probably will.

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Paul Pierce Says Today's NBA Stars Are Less Competitive Than In His Day Due To Super Teams.

http://www.cbssports.com/nba/news/paul-pierce-laments-kevin-durants-warrior-decision-as-sign-of-a-less-competitive-generation/


Basically, the Truth was not impressed with the decision: 
"I could have left Boston years ago but I stuck it out. I just feel like when you're that close as a competitor, you don't go join the team that just pushed you out. That's just me personally but we're living in a day and time where there's a new generation. Guys I don't think they are as hungry or competitive as my generation was, and that's why you'll probably see more of that."


This fucking guy.  Let's slow your roll here Mr. Truth.  You are out here bashing a man who joined the best regular season team of all time because he felt his window in OKC was closed and he wanted a change of both scenery and culture and to maybe actually win a title?  Ok, but you do remember playing for the 2008 Celtics right?  The team that basically started this "big 3"/"super team" era?  Ok, good, so how about you get off of your high fucking horse before you start calling this generation soft.  Do I like that KD joined my dubs and will take away some of Steph's shine?  I absolutely do not.  But I think it took a lot of balls to leave a good situation in OKC to try and dominate with a great team. A team that did NOT win the title so you could make the case they needed an upgrade.  So before you call this generation soft, remember that two of the top players from YOUR generation (Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett) joined you in Boston to be a super team and roll to a ring.  Just because Kobe and Duncan never left doesn't make your generation perfect.  Steve Nash left to try and form a super team in LA with Kobe and Dwight.  That obviously didn't work out and Phoenix was about to rebuild anyway, but still.  Vince Carter joining that early 2000s Nets team?  Kidd going back to Dallas?  Not to mention after being traded from Boston (not his fault, I know) you went to a young promising team in Washington, and then left to try and chase a ring in LA with the Clippers.  Obviously not super teams, but I didn't see you in the green and white when the Celts were hanging in the lottery trying to claw their way back.

I'm really sick of the whole super team bashing in general.  I get it, I hated when LeBron and Bosh joined Miami, if it's not your team I get hating it.  That being said remember any of those 80s Lakers teams everyone loves?  Super team.  Wilt going to LA before that?  Super team.  Rodman joining Jordan and Pippen?  Definitely a big 3 and given they were all top 10-15 players at the time, you could say that they were a super team.  See where I'm going with this?  In 15 years nobody will be bitching about KD leaving and they'll all be honoring the fuck out of these upcoming Warriors teams.

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