The Woman Who Made A Sex Tape With Von Miller Didn't Keep It To Extort Him. She Kept It To Masturbate To.

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/elizabeth-ruiz-not-extorting-von-miller-sex-tape-article-1.2892747

The video where she says this is in the link.  The one right there^.


So this chick

Elizabeth Ruiz is her name, made a sex tape with Von Miller and kept it.  Initial reports were that she wasn't going to let Von have it unless he paid her $2.5million for it.  Turns out she just kept it because sex with Von Miller was so damn good she wanted to go and relive it from time to time.  So you know what?  Fuck Von Miller.  I guess not enough to be the best pass rusher in the NFL and to be one of the highest paid players ever that isn't a quarterback?  But apparently he has to be so damn good at sex that absolute dimes want to keep the tape (a tape he wanted in the first place btw)for themselves just to jackhammer themselves to because he dicked her down so well.  You can't have it all man.  I just assume all famous people are good to very good at sex unless rumored otherwise, but I didn't think anyone was "keep the tape to relive it" good.  Well apparently I was wrong.  Dude has it all on the field, crazy money, and oh, he apparently bangs the brains out of super hot girls you and I couldn't get in our wildest dreams and they just want to keep that memory for ever and ever.  And I'm sure he has a giant dick too.  Not because he's black, but  yeah, of course because he's black.  Well good for him, I'll just stick to trying my best and hoping it's not too awful.  So whenever someone tells you that you can't have it all, tell them, "fuck you Von Miller does."

PS- What if he made up the extortion story in hopes that this real truth would come out?  That would be super cocky and a move you have to respect.  Like inadvertently the biggest humble brag of all time.

PPS- What if the extortion thing was true and he made her make that video saying that's why she kept it and he's giving her the money under the table.  Not to be too woke here, but she was kinda reluctant to say "to play with myself to."  But that's actually probably because she was admitting to the entire world she kept a sex tape she's in to masturbate to which is probably pretty hard to admit.

PPPS- I just made myself hate Von Miller just by writing this blog.  Never had a problem with the guy.  Is that petty? Yeah, it probably is.  But I got noting over here, he's just being selfish.

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