Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Packers Sign Veteran TE Jared Cook

Yesterday I was given shocking news, Ted Thompson went out and signed a solid veteran!  Those are the only guys he signs, I know.  Buuuut, this comes only two years after signing Julius Peppers breaking the usual 6+ year cycle between free agent signings for Ted.  I'll admit, I don't know much about Cook.  Maybe I just don't watch enough football, maybe it's because he played for the Rams last year, who knows, but I've heard his name before and that's usually a good thing.  So I decided to do some research and find out my new tight end's madden rating, because if there's one place you can get an accurate reading on a players ability on the gridiron, it's their overall rating from 0-99 on a video game.  So instead of firing up my playstation and looking at it I used the internet to find it, and this is what I found:










For those of who don't know, 84 is pretty damn good.  And for a frame of reference, here is the rating of current starting tight end, Richard Rodgers:








So yeah, a 10 overall increase is pretty good, so I guess kudos to Ted for this one, though today I learned Karlos Dansby is going to sign with the Bengals and one of the biggest holes on this team is at middle linebacker and with BJ Raji taking a year off having some reliable talent in the middle of the defense would be nice, so just for shits I also looked up Karlos:







Yeah, no Ted, he wouldn't have been a big help or anything.  We'll just draft our next middle linebacker, why take an unnecessary risk in signing a proven stud over drafting a guy who could very well suck ass.  I'll give Ted his drafting ability, but goddamn, make some moves.  I know Green Bay is the smallest market in pro-sports but if you truly want to win, then you'd find a way to get the guys here.  You think Dansby doesn't want a ring?  The least you could do is try.  All in all, I like the Cook pick up, but I'm still mad a Ted for being incompetent in free agency.  The Bengals are only giving the guy like $6 million a year, you're telling me you couldn't even offer something near that to a guy that good?  I won't be satisfied unless this team wins the Super Bowl this year, if they don't and our middle linebackers suck I'll come back to this every single time.  Anyway, welcome to Green Bay Jared, let's win a ring this year.




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Wednesday, March 23, 2016

More LeBron James

So coming into today I was going to do a blog about where LeBron could/should go if he does leave Cleveland, because after the whole unfollowgate thing I blogged last night I was thinking about that, then the King himself was up to more douchebaggery today, so this is going to be a multiple part blog about our favorite asshole, LeBron James.

Where should LeBron go if he leaves Cleveland?

I have a few destinations for the King to end up, I did not take the time to figure out how much cap space everyone would have so some of these might not work, but keep in mind the cap is taking a big jump starting this summer (or next summer) so maybe they would.

1.) Los Angeles Clippers

The Clips make sense for a few reasons.  

1. Title contender
2. It's LA
3. CP3 is there and he and Bron Bron are tight af.
Case and point

That's a scary team if they can pull that one off.  LeBron, Chris Paul, Blake, and DeAndre Jordan.  Plus throw in JJ Redick to that starting lineup and that's as good as any starting 5 ever, and maybe the most hateable team in history.  A lot of people hate the Clippers and LeBron as it is, but if they joined forces that's maybe even more hateable than the Miami team.  Also the Clippers biggest weakness the past 4-5 years has been the small forward position.  This makes so much sense it's scary, but I don't know what happens to Blake?  Is he the Bosh/Kevin Love in this situation?  Does he leave?  I don't know, but LeBron ditching shitty Cleveland to form this team in LA would make him a wanted man in Ohio.

2.) Boston Celtics

I don't think this one would happen, but Boston is a young up and coming team that for the past few years has been looking to acquire a superstar.  Imagine all the people in Boston who hate LeBron from all those playoff battles having to root for him.  I actually love this, as a Knicks fan I hate the Celts as it is.  Now I can direct all my hate at them.  And Boston might just blow up if this happens.

3.) Los Angeles Lakers

Another one I don't see ever happening, but Bron does like nice weather and if I'm not mistaken he has a house in LA.  Plus the Lakers always go after the biggest names, and they have some nice young players so maybe in like 3-5 years this will be a possibility as LeBron looks to use them to try and win some more titles.

4.) Miami Heat

Well, the Heat could use him.  Bosh has been really good when he hasn't been sidelined with blood clots, and D-Wade has seen something of a resurgence this year playing as well as he has in a few years.  How awesome would it be if he goes BACK again, but this time back to Miami?  If he does and they get up on stage and talk about how many titles they're going to win again it'd be hilarious.  I'd almost have to become a LeBron fan that's how funny I think it'd be.

5.) Golden State Warriors

This team dominates LeBron's every waking thought, he knows he can't beat them and there's a small chance Kevin Durant joins them.  Well not if LeBron joins them first!  Then tries to run the team and gets Steve Kerr fired and fucks up what should be a dynasty for my man Steph.  Of all these teams, this one is probably most likely because Bronny knows better than anyone that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.


LeBron Says if he were on the UNI team that blew a 12 point lead in the final minute to TAMU he would "quit basketball"




Was this a joke LeBron?  If it was it was hilarious! SUCKED.  You don't think those kids feel shitty enough?  Now in addition to the world being all over them for sucking, the (second) best basketball player in the world is saying he would quit and implying that they should quit?  What a dick.  These kids don't need to hear that right now, or at least be actually funny about it.  Those reporters aren't really laughing, they're wishing you would stop the joke because they have their hard hitting story click-bait now.  Newsflash King James, that team is all white midwestern kids, save the two black guys I remember, not one of them is even close to as good as you.  Worry about your own dysfunctional team that you keep bringing unnecessary attention to for no good reason you jackass.  My biggest issue with this still is that he was trying so hard to be funny and it wasn't.  Stick to trying to be better than Steph Curry instead of comedy LeBron.

LeBron says he wants to play on a team with CP3, Melo, and D-Wade



First off, how left out do you think Chris Bosh feels?  He was part of the big three, but gets left out of "The Brotherhood?"  And first off, of course LeBron wants to play with his buddies, until Melo gets moody about not getting enough touches, D-Wade falls apart from injuries, and Chris Paul is yelling at him all the damn time.  Cleveland, if you didn't think he was leaving (again) before, maybe you do now.  And LeBron saying he would take a pay cut is funny too, he makes way more money off of endorsements so if he wanted to he could take the veteran minimum of like $800K or whatever, and still be rich as all hell.  But I actually think there's a way this could work.  They'd have to be in LA on the Clippers as they would probably never trade Chris Paul and they have the assists to acquire Wade and Melo from Miami and New York.  Let's face it, NY and Miami have nothing to trade to get those other guys, and the Clips aren't taking Kyrie and/or Love for Chris Paul.  So here's how it would unfold:

LeBron signs with the Clips and takes his "pay cut." 

New York trades Melo to LA for either Blake or DeAndre depending on if they would move Porzingis to center or not.  Miami trades D-Wade for the one of the two depending on if they make a trade before New York and if they want to go small with Bosh at center or not.  Maybe they need to make a 3 team deal with others to move all the parts, and other teams end up with Blake or DeAndre, who knows.

Boom.  You have "The Brotherhood" all playing for Steve Balmer and the Clippers.

One last thing, how old are these guys?  They know "The Brotherhood" is such a lame name right?  $100 says LeBron came up with it.  Like this is something frat bros decide to call themselves and they think it's so sick then they go out as a group and try to crush some puss.  And if they strike out then the brotherhood is there and they can shotgun some Busch Light and finger each others buttholes so it's whatever.


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Tuesday, March 22, 2016

LeBron Unfollows Cavs Saga (Unfollowgate)

So in the past two days LeBron James, the king himself, has unfollowed the Cleveland Cavaliers on social media, and when confronted about it had no idea how to explain that one.  So now people are talking about what exactly this narcissist was up to when he did.

Here's part I of Unfollowgate: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2626610-lebron-james-unfollows-cavaliers-on-twitter-instagram

My initial response to this news?  He's gone, maybe not this year, maybe not even next year, but he's definitely frustrated with this team (that he forced the front office to put together, these were the guys HE wanted) and I think him bolting the land is 100% in the cards.  Let's take a minute and think about that.  I hope he doesn't actually think everyone in the world won't hate him again.  He can't be that stupid right?  I mean what's he doing?  Well let's ask him.


Ohh shit.  He didn't even bother to have a cover lie in his back pocket?  You do something you know someone, anyone, is going to notice you HAVE to have a lie planned.  That's just life 101 for ya.  So LeBron is so delusional he thought he can just unfollow his team's twitter and nobody would even bother to ask him?  He's gotta be better.  Steph is so in his head that Bron Bron has planned 27 steps ahead to already leaving Cleveland and he doesn't have little white lies for when he does something that could even possibly in the slightest way suggest he might leave again planned?  It's sad to see what's happened to LeBron.  Came in a spry 18 year old, fresh out of high school and onto the court.  So much promise, so much talent.  Then he decides "The Decision" was a good idea and heads for South Beach wins 2 titles in 4 straight Finals trips on a superteam (lost to Dallas and San Antonio, and if not for Ray Allen he would've lost to SA twice) and then goes back to Cleveland hoping to take advantage of young talent, forces the front office into overpaying guys he demanded the keep at any circumstances, gets his coach fired, and now everything is going exactly to plan blowing up in his face.  It's beautiful really.  The most talented player ever can't win titles without surefire hall of famers on his team.  Now he's going to leave Cleveland again (as long as Golden State and others remain this good) and Dan Gilbert may actually put a hit on him.

BUT WAIT! http://www.cleveland.com/cavs/index.ssf/2016/03/lebron_james_unfollowed_the_ca.html

LeBron just unfollowed the Cavs for his no social media during the playoffs, a little thing he likes to call "zero dark 30 23" the STUPIDEST name for anything in the history of everything.  The fact he leaves the 30 in is ridiculous.  Why?  Replace it with 23 and then you have zero dark 23.  Still incredibly fucking lame, but at least you come off as less of an idiot.  Anyway, he does that thing every year, or at least last year, where he avoids social media.  But he posted or was caught liking stuff last year so he obviously still uses it, at least reads it.  Anyone that self centered could never not look at his twitter feed.  I don't think anyone of any level of self centeredness could actually.  But still, let's pretend he just locks his phone away or whatever, deletes the apps, whatever does it for you.  You don't need to unfollow something/someone to do that.  You just don't look, no unfollowing required, so that's the worst leaked lie to ever come out of Bronny's camp.

BUT WAIT AGIAN, THERE'S EVEN MORE!!!
http://ftw.usatoday.com/2016/03/lebron-james-snapchat-twitter-controversy-cleveland-cavaliers

TODAY HE DECIDED TO JOIN SNAPCHAT!  What the fuck is this guy doing????  Seriously, am I missing something here?  Because, I am confused, I'm lost, I'm bamboozled.  You're in the middle of this whole Unfollowgate and you decide to announce that you will be on more social media.  Social media has been the source of all your problems the last month, from cryptic tweets, to shitty instagram videos about how hard you work, and so the solution is more?  It's not what I would've done but kudos to you LeBron, I guess that's why you're the best athlete (and underachiever) of a generation and why I'm just a skinny white kid writing to the depths of the internet about you.  I guess I just don't #StriveforGreatness enough.  Tell em King Bron Bron!



A video posted by LeBron James (@kingjames) on



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Wednesday, March 16, 2016

2016 NCAA Tournament Predictions: First Round

South Region

1 Kansas v 16 Austin Peay

Prediction: Kansas
Why?: You know damn well why.

8 Colorado v 9 UConn

Prediction: UConn
Why?:  UConn got hot at the end of the year, last two times they did that?  They won it all.  They won't this year, but I definitely think they'll beat Colorado who was pretty good, but I'll take Kevin Ollie and March UConn all day long.

5 Maryland v 12 South Dakota State

Prediction: SDSU
Why?: I think Maryland has been overrated by the media all year.  They have all the talent in the world, but that doesn't matter when you don't play together.  Also Maryland has played down to their opponent all year.  Give me a good mid-major who plays good defense and takes care of the ball, and with something to prove over a dysfunctional Maryland squad here.

4 Cal v 13 Hawaii

Prediction: Cal
Why?: Hawaii is a damn good team, but Cal has great talent and turned it on at the end of the season.  That's enough for me to say Cal avoids the upset.

6 Arizona v 11 Wichita State

Prediction: Arizona
Why?: WSU played well last night, and Zona underachieved in Pac-12 play.  I still like Arizona here and I think they not only win this game, but go on a deep run.

3 Miami v 14 Buffalo

Prediction: Miami
Why?: Miami is just too good, I can't see Buffalo winning this game.

7 Iowa v 10 Temple

Prediction: Temple
Why?: The owls have really improved, they're a young team who took some beatings from the likes of Carolina and Wisconsin early on, but they held their own in the A-10 and I really like this team.  Iowa on the other hand has completely fallen apart and I can't say with certainty that they'll ever win a basketball game again.

2 Villanova v 15 UNC Asheville

Prediction: Nova
Why?: UNCA is really small, they have no one taller than 6-5 or 6-6 that really plays.  Not even Nova would lose this early anyway.

West Region

1 Oregon v 16 Holy Cross or Southern

Prediction: Oregon
Why?: Quack quack.

8 St. Joe's v 9 Cincinnati

Prediction: St. Joe's
Why?: Another A-10 team I like.  The duo of DeAndre Bembry and Isiah Miles is really good, they don't turn the ball over, and they won their conference tournament. I like them to make a deep run.

5 Baylor v 12 Yale

Prediction: Yale
Why?: Yale can shoot and they play great defense, they'll need to keep the game slower to have their best chance to beat Baylor and I think they win regardless.  In my opinion they're the best 12 seed in the field.

4 Duke v 13 UNC Wilmington

Prediction: UNCW
Why?: No, this pick is not out of my hate for Duke, I usually want to pick this and I never do so when the Duke first round losses happen I miss out.  I think this years Duke team is exactly the Duke team that will lose in the first round.  Grayson Allen is not a great leader and Brandon Ingram usually seems out to get his.  Duke has no depth and can't take advantage of UNCW's lack of size because all they have is Plumlee and he's not exactly a scoring machine.  You'd think the fact UNCW plays small is in Duke's favor, but they are a great 3 point shooting team and they're a great 3 point stopping (not sure if that's the right word but I'm rolling with it) team.  And the little guy is always gunning for Duke, I think Duke was overseeded but I think this is a really bad matchup for them.

6 Texas v 11 North Iowa

Prediction: Texas
Why?: UNI is a popular pick here, and they've taken down giants in the past (2010 they beat Kansas in the second round when I picked KU to win it all) but, I really like Texas.  Shaka Smart has been here before and I think the size of Texas is too much for UNI.

3 Texas A&M v 14 UW Green Bay

Prediction: TAMU
Why?: The only chance GB has is if they get really hot from deep.  Otherwise the Aggies roll.

7 Oregon State v 10 VCU

Prediction: VCU
Why?: Another game I've gone back and forth on, but I'm rolling with VCU.  They're consistently good, and OSU may be without one of their better players so I'm going to go ahead and play it safe.

2 Oklahoma v 15 Cal State Bakersfield

Prediction: Oklahoma
Why?: Next.

East Region

1 North Carolina v 16 FGCU

Prediction: UNC
Why?: I still like Carolina to win it all so I'm not predicting a loss for them, especially not here.

8 USC v 9 Providence

Prediction: USC
Why?: I like the Trojans.  I think people are high on Providence because of Kris Dunn, but they underachieved in the Big East.  SC will look to push the tempo and they can score in a variety of ways, plus Andy Enfield (their coach) was head coach at FGCU when they went to the Sweet 16 as a 15 seed.

5 Indiana v 12 Chattanooga

Prediction: IU
Why?: Indiana could be vulnerable if they're not making 3s, but I think they'll make them and therefore win the game.

4 Kentucky v 13 Stony Brook

Prediction: UK
Why?: Kentucky is playing well and they have the best backcourt in the country.  Stony Brook star Jameel Warney could cause problems and will Stony Brook to a win, but it's hard to bet against UK in the first round.

6 Notre Dame v 11 Michigan or Tulsa

Prediction: Notre Dame
Why?: Neither Michigan or Tulsa should be in and Notre Dame is a good team who should be looking to take out some frustration after getting waxed by the Tar Heels.

3 West Virginia v 14 Stephen F Austin

Prediction: WVU
Why?: I just cannot see how they lose this game.  No fancy analysis needed.

7 Wisconsin v 10 Pittsburgh

Prediction: Wisconsin
Why?: Should be a close game between two evenly matched teams, honestly flip a coin for this one.  I'm taking UW because I think they can make the Sweet 16.

2 Xavier v Weber State

Prediction: Xavier
Why?: Obviously they have the talent edge.  But if you wanted to take a 2-15 upset, this might be it.  (IMO) This game pits the weakest 2 seed vs the best 15 seed and I could see Weber stealing one.

Midwest Region

1 Virginia v 16 Hampton

Prediction: Hampton
Why?: Sike! UVA will win.  Sucker

8 Texas Tech v 9 Butler

Prediction: Butler
Why?: If you've ever watched the tournament, you know Butler is a lock for at least one win every March.  And I just think they're better than TTU.

5 Purdue v 12 Arkansas Little Rock

Prediction: Purdue
Why?: UALR is a really good 12 seed, but Purdue is a very good 5 seed.  They avoid the upset here.

4 Iowa State v 13 Iona

Prediction: Iona
Why?: I don't have a lot of faith in Iowa state after losing to UAB last year.  I had them in the Final 4 last year, and this year they're worse and Iona is better than UAB.  Both teams want to play fast, and ISU still doesn't play defense so  I think Alex English goes off and Iowa State again falls in round 1.

6 Seton Hall vs 11 Gonzaga

Prediction: Seton Hall
Why?: I like this Seton Hall team, they beat Xavier and Villanova in the Big East tournament to win it.  This is a weaker Gonzaga team and the only real advantage they have is experience in the dance.

3 Utah v 14 Fresno State

Prediction: Fresno State
Why?: I don't have a lot of faith in the Utes.  They've dropped some games they should have won and have just been pretty unimpressive.  They made it to the final of a weak Pac-12 tournament because Cal didn't play defense and Utah went coast to coast for a game-tying layup.  Then they got destroyed by Oregon.  Fresno on the other hand lost to Oregon in Eugene by 5 and are 11-1 in their last 12 coming in and won the MWC tournament beating San Diego State who should be in the tournament.

7 Dayton v 10 Syracuse

Prediction: Dayton
Why?: The Flyers are a good team getting one of their better players back.  Syracuse comes in limping having lost 5 of their last 6.  I wanted to pick Syracuse as the team that shouldn't have gotten in that makes a run but I don't think they beat Dayton.  I don't think any of these bubble teams that made it have a deep run in them, but the way Syracuse has been playing lately Dayton should take care of business.

2 Michigan State v 15 Middle Tennessee State


Prediction: MSU
Why?: One of the 4 best teams in the country, I don't think MTSU can keep up.

Here's my whole bracket:











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Tuesday, March 15, 2016

The NCAA Tournament Selection Committee Did a Horrible Job This Year. Here's Why

First off, no Monmouth?







Plus look at these wins?


Played 3 tournament teams and went 2-2, yeah a loss to Canisius is bad, but then they beat two power conference schools on the road sooo.  Whatever, they should've made it over the likes of Tulsa, Michigan, Vanderbilt, and even Syracuse.  All those teams did was play really mediocre all year, congrats.  So let's look at these teams who should have made it vs teams who didn't.

Teams who should have been in over Tulsa, Syracuse, Vandy, and even Michigan:

Monmouth, St. Bonaventure, St. Mary's, San Diego State, and Valparaiso.

I already went over Monmouth so let's look at the other three.

St. Bonaventure:



They lost more, but the A-10 is kind of on the same level as like the American Conference. They got St. Joe's, VCU, and Dayton in, but no love for the Bonnies.  They split with Dayton and swept St. Joe's (who did get in with an automatic bid for winning their conference tournament I know), and lost their only game vs VCU.  Their non-conference was soft as hell though as they only played Syracuse and they lost that game.  So that part makes sense, but still Tulsa is awful and Michigan doesn't even have two of their best players so how is that better?

St. Mary's:

What did St. Mary's in was the non-conference schedule.

They never left the state of California and their toughest game was at Cal who beat them.  Then they play in the WCC and outside of Gonzaga and BYU it's not that tough.  They split the meetings with BYU and swept the Zags in the regular season before losing to them in the conference tournament title game.  But let's take a step back, they ran straight through the WCC going 15-3.  They had a better season than any of the teams that made it over them still.  I honestly don't think any of Michigan, Tulsa, Vandy, or Syracuse would've done as well as they did, yet that doesn't matter because the NCAA can probably make more money off of them.

SDSU:

The Aztecs started slow going 7-6, but they actually played decent competition.


Then they ended the season 18-3, including winning 11 in a row after losing to Kansas.  They made it to their conference tournament championship game before losing it to Fresno State.  They played 5 tournament teams in the non-conference going 1-4 with the only win being at home vs Cal.  Based on that they should have made it because the other bubble teams displayed the ability to lose to tournament teams as well.

Valpo:

It's a lot harder to make a case for Valpo, considering they play in the Horizon League and was upset by Green Bay.  Now as a Wisconsin native I'd love to tell you that UWGB is a sneaky really good team, but they really aren't.  They're good, but Valpo should've beaten them.  But let's look at their non-conference schedule anyway.


It's ok.  They played 3 tournament teams (Iona, Oregon, and Oregon State) and went 2-1 beating Iona and OSU.  They only lost to Oregon in Eugene by 4.  Obviously losses to Ball State and Belmont aren't great and losing to Wright State both times they played, and then the Green Bay loss.  But they proved they can play with tournament caliber teams.


Now let's look at Vandy, Tulsa, Michigan and Syracuse.

I'm going to bunch them all together and be brief here.  Sorry if you wanted more in depth but I'm getting kind of tired of writing this because I started it this afternoon, then I had class, and now all I want to do is watch this Vandy v Wichita game and pass out.  So anyway here's the highlights.

Michigan beat Texas for their only real impressive non-conference win.  Out of their 12 losses this year 11 of them were by double digits.  Their average margin of defeat was 13.6 points.  Including losing to Purdue twice, each time by 17 and at SMU by 24.  I mean come on, and out of the bubble teams that actually made it I'd say Michigan was most deserving (other than Wichita State obviously, I have no problem with them).

Next up is Vandy who is losing to Wichita State as I write this.  They have 13 losses this year, but a lot of them not as bad scoreboard wise as Michigan, but worse competition-wise.  The SEC has two really good teams this year, in A&M and UK.  They went 2-2 against them, both wins coming at home for Vandy.  You don't get home games in the big dance though.  Non-conference they played 7 tournament teams and went 2-5 beating Austin Peay by 39 and Stony Brook...in overtime.  The losses were at home v Kansas by 13, at Baylor by 2, home v Dayton by 5, at Purdue by 13, and at Texas by 14.  They also lost to Ole Miss, Mississippi State, and Arkansas, oh and Tennessee in the SEC tournament.  But hey, at least they beat Gardner Webb!

Now Syracuse had Jim Boeheim being suspended as a cop-out and it worked.  I'm not as upset with Syracuse making it, but they had some brutal losses.  Wisconsin beat them in Syracuse back when Wisconsin was complete shit, Georgetown beat them, and so did St. Johns.  Both those teams were garbage all year.  They did beat UConn and Texas A&M in their non conference tournament though.  What I want to focus on with the Cuse is they lost 5 of their last 6, beating only NC State who sucks. It's not even like they got hot and impressed anyone, they totally fell apart.

Finally we have Tulsa, a team who was mediocre and played a mediocre non-conference schedule before playing in a mediocre conference where they went 12-6.  They did beat Wichita State and Iona, so you can take that for what it's worth.  But how do you know a team definitely shouldn't be in the tournament?


When even the players have no faith, they shouldn't be in.  That's as loud and clear a sign you can have.  But they did only lose to Memphis by 22 so maybe the 8 points are what saved them.










God is something, that's for true.

Anyway, the first four could have been absolutely dynamite tv, instead it's mediocrity central so whatever.   The committee failing their job is just part of March Madness.  Though again, I usually think the outrage is overdone, but when you fuck up 3 of the 4, instead of maybe just 1, it's bad.

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Monday, March 14, 2016

Weekend Rewind: Champ Week Edition

This rewind will be 100% college basketball, reliving the best of the weekend in Champ Week.

Friday:




An instant classic if there ever was one.  4OT and that is how you get there?  Cincy thought they hit the shot of the day and then Jalen Adams hits a bomb to tie it.  That was a shot where I actually yelled out loud when it went in.  I was just waiting for the ACC games and this is what I had to work with and god damn it was worth it.  A great, great, great game that I wish would've just kept going, and going and going.




It's March, so why not some more madness?  This time it's a half courter from Buddy Hield for the win vs West Virginia, except:



It didn't count!  So close for Buddy and OU for a third shot at Kansas, but unfortunately for everyone not rooting for West Virginia it was waved off and didn't count.

Oh what's that?  You want MORE?  Well here's Utah's Lorenzo Bonam with a buzzer beating lay-up to tie the game and send it to OT where the Utes would end up beating Cal:



But perhaps the biggest highlight from Friday's action was this.

First Wayne Selden MURDERS a Baylor player with huge dunk:



And then Wayne's Uncle Anthony stole the show with a reaction that puts him up for hype man of the year decade century.  Dude's got a goddamn flava flave clock with a picture of Selden in it and does this:



Brent Musberger with a great call too "Save the women and children!"  Also that guy next to Uncle Anthony got drilled by the clock right?  That probably sucked for him but also he was on tv so it evens out.  I wish someone loved me as much as Wayne Selden Jr's Uncle Anthony loves him.

Other notes from Friday include Kansas winning that game and UNC destroyed Notre Dame 78-47 and is looking like a championship team again.

Saturday:

Much less drama on Saturday so let's start with the Big 12 title game.  Kansas took care of Press Virginia 81-71 and secured their spot as the team pretty much everyone is going to pick to win the title.  Here's some highlights for ya:



Don't sleep on WVU to make a sweet 16/elite 8 run.

And in the ACC Virginia made it a slow ugly game, but my Heels fought back and won the ACC tournament 61-57.  It showed that the Heels can not only win by running up and down the court, but can succeed in a slower paced game.  Marcus Paige has really turned it on too, he played well in the ACC tourney and if he plays well at all it makes the Tar Heels the most dangerous team in the country.  Anyway enough from me, more highlights:



Oregon destroyed Utah to win the Pac-12 tournament and it earned them a 1 seed.



Too bad they won't make a deep run.

Other notes from Saturday is basically UConn won after that 4OT game to go to the AAC championship game.

Sunday:

Cal State Bakersfield got us started with a buzzer beater for their first tournament bid:



Kentucky outlasted Texas A&M in overtime.  Two times they played each other, two times they went to overtime.



Kentucky is the only team in the East region that really scares me as a UNC fan.  But UNC is like a more talented version of A&M who took them to OT twice and split the meetings.  So you just read me talking myself into why it won't be a big deal.

Anyway then UConn took home the AAC championship in a huge win over Memphis, and Michigan State won a tough one against a really good Purdue team.



And that was that.  Oh, then the committee did an all time bad job picking the field.  Everyone always says that I know, but usually I'm ok with how they do but this year they really did a horrendous job.  So I'll have that blog coming a bit later tonight, and tomorrow or Wednesday I'll do my first round predictions.

Follow @_ballssports on twitter and like my Facebook page it's Balls Sports.

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Thursday, March 10, 2016

HOF Reliever Goose Gossage Rips Jose Bautista and "Nerds"

http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/id/14943065/goose-gossage-rips-jose-bautista-toronto-blue-jays-nerds-ruining-baseball

"Bautista is a f---ing disgrace to the game," Gossage told ESPN. "He's embarrassing to all the Latin players, whoever played before him. Throwing his bat and acting like a fool, like all those guys in Toronto. [Yoenis] Cespedes, same thing."


"It is a joke," Gossage said. "The game is becoming a freaking joke because of the nerds who are running it.
"I'll tell you what has happened, these guys played rotisserie baseball at Harvard or wherever the f--- they went, and they thought they figured the f---ing game out. They don't know s---.
"A bunch of f---ing nerds running the game. You can't slide into second base. You can't take out the f---ing catcher because [Buster] Posey was in the wrong position and they are going to change all the rules. You can't pitch inside anymore. I'd like to knock some of these f---ers on their ass and see how they would do against pitchers in the old days.
"Ryan Braun is a f---ing steroid user. He gets a standing ovation on Opening Day in Milwaukee. How do you explain that to your kid after throwing people under the bus and lying through his f---ing teeth? They don't have anyone passing the f---ing torch to these people.
"If I had acted like that, you don't go in that f---ing dugout. There are going to be 20 f---ing guys waiting for you."
"They have been created from the top, from their computers," Gossage said. "They are protecting these kids. The first thing a pitcher does when he comes off the mound is ask: 'How many pitches do I have?' If I had asked that f---ing question, they would have said: 'Son, get your ass out there on that mound. If you get tired, we'll come and get you.'"

Good lord, Goose Gossage angry at the world!  Those takes were so hot they melted my laptop.  I mean there's being an old, cranky asshole grumbling about the kids these days and then there's THAT.  Just going after anything and everything.  Let's start with the Bautista thing since that plays into a blog I was going to write before I saw this.  Bryce Harper said today that he thinks baseball is a tired sport, and that people are losing interest because it's boring and the old code of conduct is detrimental to the game.  He's right.  Honestly the only time I care about baseball is when the Brewers are good and that ain't often.  It's boring, let the guys flip bats and celebrate a little without fearing that they're going to catch a heater in the teeth next time up.  And Gossage's take on that was absolutely ridiculous.  Bautista's one of the biggest and (as far as I know) well liked guys in the game.  His bat flip, in the 7th inning of an elimination game, after launching a ball to the moon, was the biggest highlight in baseball all year.  That was something that brought interest to baseball, I saw the whole internet react to that moment.  It was maybe the best thing that's happened to the sport in a while.

The next part was my favorite though.  "This game has become a freaking joke because of the nerds who are running it."  You get those nerds Goose!  You show those fucking nerds!  Give em a wedgie and stick "kick me" signs to their backs as you make them elephant walk out of the front office Goose!  Put those god damn nerds in their place!  If there's one thing that everyone knows, it's that you can't possibly have any worthwhile knowledge of a sport if you didn't play it professionally.  Simply a fact.  That's why the game is ruined, not the fact we live in a world where people want action and scoring and baseball is a slow game that isn't all that exciting.  Nope it's those fucking nerds.  Get em outta my front office!  Give them all swirlies and put real men back in charge!  Good honest men who actually played professional baseball, not just studied the hell out of it and can use very advanced stats to measure value.  Let's go back to whatever we did before that was purely flawless!  Obviously there are certain things guys who played the game understand that the sabremetrics guys never will, but just getting the "nerds" out won't "fix" baseball.  And the bitching about the rule changes?  The one's put in place to try and prevent injuries?  Goose nailed it again.  They're just being soft!  The game is much better if more stars get hurt!  The more injuries the better. You think you're hurt?  Rub some dirt on it you pussy.


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Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Balls All Over Social Media

I decided to go ahead and set up a twitter account, and Facebook page for Balls.  So go follow them!  I'll be giving takes there (mostly on twitter) and putting links to the blogs on there too.  I'll be really active on them during the tournament so get on there!  Follow balls!

twitter: @_ballssports

facebook: Balls Sports

Surprise, Surprise. More Warrior Disrespect.

Another two parter here.  I'll start you all off with the less serious part.  Some Oakland area kids don't respect the greatest player in the game and just dump water all on him.



Now you may be thinking, "isn't he letting them do this?  Why does this matter?"  Well if you look closely I don't think Steph was expecting it at all.  Did you hear that scream at the end?  That's the scream of pure shock.  And what are the kids thinking?  I'm sure it's pretty warm out in the bay area now, but what if it's a breezy day?  You're going to risk the MVP getting hypothermia?  That's ridiculous.  And why are these kids wasting water?  Hey kids, there's no water in your state, you should probably just drink that instead of trying to water board the best player in basketball.  Little shits.

On to the slightly more serious part, Charles Barkley says the Warriors will not win the championship this year.  (video: http://defpen.com/charles-barkley-guarantees-the-warriors-wont-repeat/) He said this last year too and was wrong.  I'm not putting too much stock into this, because unless Steph, Klay, or Draymond suffer a severe injury they're winning it all.  Sir Charles has never shied away from firing a hot ass take and I hope he never does.  I wish he'd think about it before he fires more shots at the Warriors though.  But then again, it seems to work in the Dubs favor.


Classic.


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Rockets Rookie Sam Dekker Blesses the World With An All-Time Picture Of Dwight Howard


First off that tweet is perfect.  Why is Dwight taking senior pics in his late 20's?  Is it because he's still a champion and can do whatever he wants?  Is it because he's a 13 year old trapped in a grown man's body?  Who knows!  I've never been a huge Dwight Howard guy.  I think he's always been overrated, even when he was the best center in the game.  Always a lackluster offensive player, and he's the softest man in the game.  You can walk all over Dwight and he'll do nothing about it, maybe he'll cheap shot you, but that's because he's a coward.  Anyway, enjoy Dwight's senior pic, and you'll have to ask him for the wallet size yourself.


PS- how did Sam get away with that?  Shouldn't this have played out the other way around?  Is the rook hazing the vet?  Dwight's gotta man up at some point man, can't let this happen, makes the team look weak if you got rookies blasting your senior pics you took last summer all over the internet.

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Phil Jackson Wants To Run The Knicks Further Into The Ground And Melo Wants To Help


So this one's going to be a two parter, and we'll start off with the Phil Jackson part.  Apparently Phillip wants to keep Kurt Rambis as head coach going forward (http://espn.go.com/blog/new-york-knicks/post/_/id/64300/kurt-rambis-dilemma-play-the-young-guys-or-try-to-win-games).  Yeah.  These guys are the worst.  First off, owner James Dolan is a loser, which always should be said.  Worst owner in sports.  Phil was looking pretty smart with how the Porzingis pick worked out, though he's back to being a stubborn dumbass.  Kurt Rambis is one of the worst coaches in Minnesota Timberwolves history.  The Wolves have very little good history, they've been very bad for most of their existence.  I don't care if he knows the triangle, the triangle is outdated and it only worked when it was being run through Jordan and Kobe.  Newsflash, any offense will be successful if they're ran through MJ and Kobe (in their primes) and had the supporting cast they did.  Notice how it never worked for anyone else who tried it?  Or how it's failing miserably now?  You want to know how to play basketball?  Look at what Golden State, or San Antonio does.  Spread the floor, move the ball, make good cuts, make the extra pass, and make open shots.  You can play fast like Golden State, or slower like the Spurs.  But you are never, EVER, going to win a title running the triangle through Carmelo Anthony.  You'll probably never make the playoffs doing that.  The triangle sucks, Kurt Rambis sucks, Phil Jackson sucks, and Melo sucks.  This whole team just sucks and they keep spinning their wheels and never going forward.  I could build a better basketball team than Phil.  Here's how:

Step 1: Get a real coach, like Mark Jackson, Luke Walton, or literally anyone not named Kurt Rambis.

Step 2: Trade some of the useless vets for draft picks if at all possible.  Jose Calderon, Sasha Vujacic, Lou Amendson, and even Arron Afflalo should be moved for picks.

Step 3: Rid New York of Carmelo Anthony.  You could get a top 10 pick.  But he has a no-trade clause, where would he let you trade him you ask?  Sacramento.  Give him to Boogie and Rondo (who he wants in NY, but I'll get to that) and hopefully he'd agree.  That'd be a fun team out in Sac-town, and the Knicks could probably get some decent young pieces and picks in return.  Only problem is Sacramento is a small city, don't know if Melo would go for it.

Step 4: Carry out a legitimate rebuild and stop plugging in not very talented pieces.  The Melo experiment should be over, he's not leading us anywhere so let's just stop.  You can't let the vaunted New York media bully you into trying to speed up the process of actually building a team.  In the end a perennial contender is much better than perpetual mediocrity.

There.

Now, my team's fearless leader, Carmelo Anthony, has said he wants to help recruit free agents! (http://www.newsday.com/sports/basketball/knicks/with-eye-on-rajon-rondo-carmelo-anthony-wants-to-hit-recruiting-trail-1.11547191)  And who does he want to start with?  RAJON RONDO!!!  Oh shit, wait.  Rondo sucks.  He's been kinda better this year, but still there's an important part of the game of basketball that involves putting the ball in the hoop and Rondo can't do that.  He can pass, and is an overrated defender.  He's a decent defender, but he's not being carried by KG, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen like in Boston.  And he looks to pass and only pass, again he can't score.  Rondo was at his best surrounded by future hall of famers!  He was garbage after the band broke up in Boston, was garbage in Dallas last year, and he's slightly better because he's playing with the best center in the league.  Rondo is definitely NOT the answer.  He's a complete baby when things go south, and I just don't know who would want him on their team.  I don't want to walk into the locker room to see Rondo playing connect-4 and bricking j's on the court.

How's Melo going to recruit anyway?  "Come play with me!"  Um, no thanks, this team had one good year with you.  "There's so much to do in New York!"  Really?  Like play for a winning basketball team?  No?  I'll pass then.  "Our strip clubs are better!"  That might work, but if they're going to strip clubs so much that it factors into their free agency decision then I don't want them in New York.  Seriously, someone needs to do something and stop this dumpster fire.  Give me a few billion dollars so I can buy this team from Dolan and make them a legitimate team again.  Thank God Steph ended up being as good as he was so I have a good team to watch instead of only this train wreck.


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Monday, March 7, 2016

Weekend Rewind

It was a wild, wild weekend this past weekend, with all kinds of stuff happening in the wide world of sports.  Let's start off with a little football.

Falcons Ask OSU CB (and current draft prospect) Eli Apple if He's Gay

Falcons assistant coach Marquand Manuel was interviewing Eli Apple at the combine, so naturally he asked Apple if he was gay.  Seems a little out of left field, though Apple did play for Urban Meyer at Ohio State and Urbs has coached a murderer (Aaron Hernandez) and also Tim Tebow, who I'm not so sure isn't gay.  Pretty wild, I guess he was just looking to see how Apple would react, but still.  I don't ask people I just met if they "like men."  It's 2016 brah, have some respect.

Peyton Manning (finally officially) Retires

This was broke yesterday if I'm not mistaken (I could very well be mistaken).  We all saw it coming, there was zero chance he could even step on the field and not just literally fall apart next year if he did come back.  So, I guess congrats to Pey Pey on a great career, and on being a surefire top 5 qb of all time.  Now go play golf, collect mad royalty checks, maybe get some more sponsorships, and try not to sexually assault anyone else.


UNC Gets Revenge On Duke

Yes, Carolina gutted out a 76-72 win in Cameron Indoor to lock up their first ACC regular season title since 2012.  Went wire to wire too, they never trailed, hopefully now they can win the ACC tourney and roll through the NCAA tournament for title number 7.  But enjoy the highlight of the game:



And also, you may be old, and really piss me off sometimes, but Roy Williams, you are still king of locker room celleys.



Saturday was definitely a #GDTBATH

Conference Tournaments Have Begun, Some Wild Finishes Already + RETURN OF  DUNK CITY!

If you don't have a calendar, or a brain, it's March already.  So you know what that means right?  Correct, Madness, mayhem, cursing mid majors who at 1 on Thursday the third week of March fuck your bracket all up, buzzer beaters, and a whole lotta basketball.  And after weekend uno of the month, much less weekend one of the big dance, we are off to an A+ start.  First off Wes Washpun of Northern Iowa get's the bounce at the horn to win the OVC tournament for a second year in row.



FGCU Played Stetson for the A-Sun title Sunday, with a weird twist.  Since Stetson is ineligible for postseason play, yet the A-Sun let them play in the conference tournament for some reason, if they would have beaten FGCU then regular season champ North Florida would've went to the tournament instead.  FGCU beat UNF by 33 in the semi final, and UNF was a team I liked to possibly ruin a power conference schools day on Thursday/Friday that first week, but FGCU killed them and now they're back for the first time since 2013 where they made it to the Sweet 16 as a 15 seed.  But first they started the game with one of the best hats in the known world:


And ended the game with a monstrous block in OT:


I'm not sure how good the Dunk City/FGCU Eagles are this year, or if they still have the ability to dunk all over the world, but I'll probably pick them to win a game or two.

And finally, in a Southland Conference game between Incarnate Word and Houston Baptist, Shawn Johnson of Incarnate Word absolutely murdered a player on Houston Baptist then hung around for a ride:



And the kid who got dunked on: why on Earth are you laughing?  What's funny about having a man dunk you into oblivion then rubbing his dick on the back of your neck?  I probably would've quit sports and went into hiding if I were him.  Disgraceful.

Lakers Whoop Warriors In LA Sunday

Yeah, yeah, I know.  It was horrible, the Lakers played by far their best game all year, and the Warriors played as bad as they did against Portland a few weeks ago.  It sucked, they sucked, people losing their minds over it because they're jealous of a team who became an unstoppable force of nature the right way (aka not by signing a bunch of superstars to mega deals) and are the most entertaining and fun team of all time lead by a star who's not an egotistical dickhead sucked.  It was one great big suckfest in LA.  I'm thinking the dubs just overlooked the Lakers and had a bit too much fun Saturday night in Los Angeles, and Kobe had the Lakers doing workouts at 3 am in preparation.  And he also did this:

A video posted by LROD STREET πŸ”œπŸ”œ⚜ Lukas Rod (@lrodstreet) on


Overall bad, bad Sunday afternoon.


Miami Heat Do It Best

Yeah two things coming outta Miami this weekend.  First off we have a mom in a baby race with her rack very nearly coming outta her shirt.  Just boobs swanging every which way all over the place in American Airlines Arena:

  


And the ultimate highlight was the Heat mascot, Bernie, attempting the front flip over 10 other mascots and winds up destroying the balls of the last 3:






No more dicks for those suckers.  Best part may be the fact that the face of the costumes are all smiling while they're lying on the court writhing in pain, grabbing their nuts which have just been annihilated.  And also Burnie celebrating after not actually succeeding at flipping over all the mascots.  Just gold from Miami this weekend.

So that's this week's weekend rewind, hope you enjoyed this, as well as your weekend.


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Thursday, March 3, 2016

Announcers Rip U-Washington Kid Apart For Eating a Salad at the Game. Call Him "Salad Boy"


Amazing job by these announcers.  You bust out a salad at any sporting event, this is what you deserve.  Announcers ripping you to shreds, and calling you "salad boy" on semi-national tv.  Oh you just wanted to be healthy?  You look like you could stand to put on a few pounds salad boy.  Throw that shit away and get a burger or a hot dog like a real person.  Throwing down a salad at a college hoops game is one of the most ridiculous moves I've seen.  Coach trying to get the students fired up, and fucking salad boy over here just can't stop eating those leafy greens.  And it's senior night!  Have respect for the kids who are 8000 times more athletic than you, yet probably do a third of the school work!  World doesn't revolve around you salad boy!  The world revolves around those better than you, and I guess you had to learn that lesson the hard way.  Let this be a lesson to all you, if you dare eat a goddamn salad at any sporting event, then know this is the punishment you may face.  If you're ok with that (and ok with eating a salad at a game) then don't ever talk to me because you're an asshole.


PS- If that kid isn't referred to solely as Salad Boy by everyone on campus for the rest of time, then Washington is the worst school in history.  I want that kid be slightly recognized and the kid slightly recognizing him to yell "Hey!  Are you Salad Boy?"  And then something insulting.  I want this kid to debate transferring because of this.  Respect the game salad boy.



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Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Kyrie Irving Unhappy In Cleveland? I Blame LeBron

http://www.foxsports.com/nba/story/cleveland-cavaliers-kyrie-irving-unhappy-rumor-wants-out-lebron-james-030116

So another story from Monday, Stephen A. Smith said that Kyrie was unhappy in Cleveland.  Not from bedbugs, but the actual basketball situation.  Kyrie, of course, denies these allegations.  Now, normally when Stephen A. reports anything, I call bullshit because he's a moron.  Both him and Skip Bayless are the biggest idiots in sports media, and their show sucks.  But that's beside the point, remember when Stephen A. said KD wanted to go the Lakers this offseason?  Then KD called him an idiot in front of everyone?  Exactly.  But this I can believe actually, because of one man and his insufferable ego.  Yup, LeBron James.  I wouldn't want to play with a guy who conspires to fire coaches, calls his own plays, subs himself in and out as he pleases (yeah, Bron is really doing that stuff again), and bullies the front office into paying whoever he likes a lot of money (see: Tristian Thompson) no matter how talented he is.  I would hate being LeBron's teammate (I think, he seems like the worst) and I'm thinking actual NBA players are beginning to think the same way.  Kyrie always seems like the guy who wants to be the number one guy on a team, I don't think that team would be a contender, nothing against Kyrie he's incredibly talented, but I think it'd be like a James Harden situation if Kyrie was the number one guy.  Kyrie would just be chasing numbers on a pretty good team, but that's it.  But playing with LeBron probably sucks because of all the things I mentioned before.  And if he (a player remember) thinks he can bully coaches and the front office, imagine what he must do with other players.  He probably tries to control everything they do on, and off the court.  If you don't do something how LeBron wants you to, you suffer his wrath.  It seems like a no-win situation.  Plus LeBron's been known to criticize teammates either directly, or very indirectly through the media, or on social media.  Nothing is ever his fault, because he's the King.  That would suck, you know what, go chase numbers somewhere else Kyrie, I'd hate being LeBron's teammate too.

Coach K Defends ACC's "Handling" Of Grayson Allen

http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/14866508/duke-blue-devils-coach-mike-krzyzewski-defends-handling-grayson-allen-fallout

Not much happening in the sports world that I've seen so far today, so I'll talk about this story from Monday.  First off, what the hell is Coach K talking about?  The ACC didn't do jack shit.  They sent him a fucking letter, bro.  They did the bare minimum they could possibly do without actually doing nothing.  Maybe I'm just misunderstanding a letter of reprimand, but I think a Duke star got away with tripping an opponent for the second time this year without any real penalty.  And Coach K going saying he thinks the ACC did their job?  They gave him the "stiffest reprimand a player has gotten all year".  We've been over this, they just sent him a letter saying "don't do this again."  That's it.  Then he plays the poor me card by saying "The world doesn't move on, because it's Duke."  Get the fuck outta here coach K.  The world doesn't move on because people hate you and your team, because you're all scumbags.  Don't try and play victim, your teams have a long history of doing shitty things and getting away with it.  (I blogged about this during the first Allen trip so look it up.)  Basically all you're doing is just rubbing it in our face that Duke got away with it again.  He should've been suspended for at least a half or something.  Literally anything, I'd take the first 5 minutes of a game.  But no, Grayson Allen wears a jersey with 'Duke' across his chest, so the worst that'll happen is him getting a goddamn letter that bears no real consequence for his actions.  I hope he enjoys tripping players when they lose their first tournament game this year.