Wednesday, March 23, 2016

More LeBron James

So coming into today I was going to do a blog about where LeBron could/should go if he does leave Cleveland, because after the whole unfollowgate thing I blogged last night I was thinking about that, then the King himself was up to more douchebaggery today, so this is going to be a multiple part blog about our favorite asshole, LeBron James.

Where should LeBron go if he leaves Cleveland?

I have a few destinations for the King to end up, I did not take the time to figure out how much cap space everyone would have so some of these might not work, but keep in mind the cap is taking a big jump starting this summer (or next summer) so maybe they would.

1.) Los Angeles Clippers

The Clips make sense for a few reasons.  

1. Title contender
2. It's LA
3. CP3 is there and he and Bron Bron are tight af.
Case and point

That's a scary team if they can pull that one off.  LeBron, Chris Paul, Blake, and DeAndre Jordan.  Plus throw in JJ Redick to that starting lineup and that's as good as any starting 5 ever, and maybe the most hateable team in history.  A lot of people hate the Clippers and LeBron as it is, but if they joined forces that's maybe even more hateable than the Miami team.  Also the Clippers biggest weakness the past 4-5 years has been the small forward position.  This makes so much sense it's scary, but I don't know what happens to Blake?  Is he the Bosh/Kevin Love in this situation?  Does he leave?  I don't know, but LeBron ditching shitty Cleveland to form this team in LA would make him a wanted man in Ohio.

2.) Boston Celtics

I don't think this one would happen, but Boston is a young up and coming team that for the past few years has been looking to acquire a superstar.  Imagine all the people in Boston who hate LeBron from all those playoff battles having to root for him.  I actually love this, as a Knicks fan I hate the Celts as it is.  Now I can direct all my hate at them.  And Boston might just blow up if this happens.

3.) Los Angeles Lakers

Another one I don't see ever happening, but Bron does like nice weather and if I'm not mistaken he has a house in LA.  Plus the Lakers always go after the biggest names, and they have some nice young players so maybe in like 3-5 years this will be a possibility as LeBron looks to use them to try and win some more titles.

4.) Miami Heat

Well, the Heat could use him.  Bosh has been really good when he hasn't been sidelined with blood clots, and D-Wade has seen something of a resurgence this year playing as well as he has in a few years.  How awesome would it be if he goes BACK again, but this time back to Miami?  If he does and they get up on stage and talk about how many titles they're going to win again it'd be hilarious.  I'd almost have to become a LeBron fan that's how funny I think it'd be.

5.) Golden State Warriors

This team dominates LeBron's every waking thought, he knows he can't beat them and there's a small chance Kevin Durant joins them.  Well not if LeBron joins them first!  Then tries to run the team and gets Steve Kerr fired and fucks up what should be a dynasty for my man Steph.  Of all these teams, this one is probably most likely because Bronny knows better than anyone that if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.


LeBron Says if he were on the UNI team that blew a 12 point lead in the final minute to TAMU he would "quit basketball"




Was this a joke LeBron?  If it was it was hilarious! SUCKED.  You don't think those kids feel shitty enough?  Now in addition to the world being all over them for sucking, the (second) best basketball player in the world is saying he would quit and implying that they should quit?  What a dick.  These kids don't need to hear that right now, or at least be actually funny about it.  Those reporters aren't really laughing, they're wishing you would stop the joke because they have their hard hitting story click-bait now.  Newsflash King James, that team is all white midwestern kids, save the two black guys I remember, not one of them is even close to as good as you.  Worry about your own dysfunctional team that you keep bringing unnecessary attention to for no good reason you jackass.  My biggest issue with this still is that he was trying so hard to be funny and it wasn't.  Stick to trying to be better than Steph Curry instead of comedy LeBron.

LeBron says he wants to play on a team with CP3, Melo, and D-Wade



First off, how left out do you think Chris Bosh feels?  He was part of the big three, but gets left out of "The Brotherhood?"  And first off, of course LeBron wants to play with his buddies, until Melo gets moody about not getting enough touches, D-Wade falls apart from injuries, and Chris Paul is yelling at him all the damn time.  Cleveland, if you didn't think he was leaving (again) before, maybe you do now.  And LeBron saying he would take a pay cut is funny too, he makes way more money off of endorsements so if he wanted to he could take the veteran minimum of like $800K or whatever, and still be rich as all hell.  But I actually think there's a way this could work.  They'd have to be in LA on the Clippers as they would probably never trade Chris Paul and they have the assists to acquire Wade and Melo from Miami and New York.  Let's face it, NY and Miami have nothing to trade to get those other guys, and the Clips aren't taking Kyrie and/or Love for Chris Paul.  So here's how it would unfold:

LeBron signs with the Clips and takes his "pay cut." 

New York trades Melo to LA for either Blake or DeAndre depending on if they would move Porzingis to center or not.  Miami trades D-Wade for the one of the two depending on if they make a trade before New York and if they want to go small with Bosh at center or not.  Maybe they need to make a 3 team deal with others to move all the parts, and other teams end up with Blake or DeAndre, who knows.

Boom.  You have "The Brotherhood" all playing for Steve Balmer and the Clippers.

One last thing, how old are these guys?  They know "The Brotherhood" is such a lame name right?  $100 says LeBron came up with it.  Like this is something frat bros decide to call themselves and they think it's so sick then they go out as a group and try to crush some puss.  And if they strike out then the brotherhood is there and they can shotgun some Busch Light and finger each others buttholes so it's whatever.


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