Saturday, December 17, 2016

Video Of Oklahoma Running Back Joe Mixon Punching Woman In The Face Released To Public And It's BAD


WARNING: VIDEOS CONTAIN GRAPHIC VIOLENCE





http://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/ncaaf/2016/12/16/video-of-oklahoma-rb-mixon-punching-woman-released/95538770/

Two years ago Joe Mixon allegedly punched a woman in the face.  Yesterday the video proving he did was released to the public.  It's not good Joe.  Not good at all.  Let's not forget that two years ago OU head coach Bob Stoops and the Athletic Director saw that video.  They WATCHED Mixon hit her with that right cross and not only didn't kick him off the team, they KEPT HIM ON SCHOLARSHIP.  He was suspended for his freshman season (so basically redshirted) and sentenced to community service.  All in all a slap on the wrist for what looks a lot like full on assault.  I try to avoid being team outrage, but that's blatantly ridiculous.  The fact someone could watch that and choose to turn a blind eye is disgusting.  But at least ol Joey has his heart in the right place.
"Mr. Mixon asked us to once again say he is sorry for the way he acted that night," a statement through his attorneys said. "He has publicly apologized to Ms. Molitor, her friends, his family, teammates, and the University. He hopes that his voluntary release of these recordings will help put this matter to rest."
It wasn't voluntary, it was ordered by a judge.  And I'm sure his apology was sincere and his own doing, and he wasn't told to do it.  I'm sure his words made up for the fact he bashed her in the face.  Obviously OU is ran by scumbags, and college football is full of scumbags that will turn a blind eye to anything (ex. Baylor, FSU Jameis Winston) as long as it helps them win football games.  And it goes without saying but, hitting a woman is never ok.  Ever, save for very extreme circumstances like life threatening.  I don't think a wasted college chick giving you a little shove counts as dire circumstances.  But the best part is he'll still likely get drafted and become a millionaire in the NFL.  Nice to see people are held responsible for their actions.


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Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Richard Sherman Should Shut The Hell Up


As you may already know, I hate Seattle.  HATE them.  I hate their fans, I hate Pete Carroll, I hate how everyone still sucks their dick even though they're an average NFL team, I hate how cocky they are despite having fallen off drastically since winning the Super Bowl now 4 years ago.  I can't say one nice thing about them.  What I can say is Richard Sherman is the most overrated player in the NFL by far and I'm sick of seeing him piss and moan about something nearly every week.  I feel like every day he's bitching about something.  Currently it's about Thursday Night Football.  Does it suck?  Of course it does, it sucks to watch, and I'm sure it sucks to play.  But you know what?  There's MILLIONS of people who wish they had his job and would gladly take it.  There's aspects of everyone's job people don't like, from pro athlete down to construction worker, but guess what, they do it.  They don't seek out a national forum and just bitch.  Every team has at least one Thursday night game.  Every team has to play on short rest.  Every team hates it.  But every team just shuts up and deals with it because they have to.  So instead of saying shit like "I'd like to put Roger Goodell in pads for a late game on Sunday, in Green Bay, and see what time he gets to the office on Monday morning." Or writing a whole piece about how much you hate TNF (found here: http://www.theplayerstribune.com/richard-sherman-seahawks-thursday-night-football/) just SHUT THE FUCK UP and play.  You don't have to like it, you just have to do it.  Nothing he says in that article is wrong, it's just all stuff everyone else has already said, this time by an overpaid, overrated, star in the NFL itself.  Other players have said this, coaches have said it, media has said it.  We know this shit Sherm, but it ain't gonna change because the only thing the NFL wants is money.  That's why they started it, more money.  Doesn't take a Stanford grad to figure that out.

Now, I said he's overrated.  He is.  It's not because he doesn't always line up with the best receiver on the other team, because if he did he'd be even worse.  No he simply constantly gets burned and lives off of the reputation that started because of one play and the rant that followed.  Now every corner get's burned sure, but Sherman constantly gets burned and people conveniently ignore it most of the time.  Here are a few examples.




And that's just a quick handful from a google search.  He's also a bitch exhibit here:


I don't recall Patrick Peterson or Revis doing this ever.  Nor any other greats in other sports.  So Seattle, it's time for you all and your corner to shut the damn fucking hell up and realize you once again suck.  Your division sucks, Sherman sucks, your offense sucks, and all the fans REALLY suck.

PS- Shout out to Davante Adams for absolutely BULLYING Sherman here.


PPS- I was at the game Sunday and it was maybe one of the greatest experiences of my whole life.  Go Pack Go baby.

PPPS- 38-10 suck it Seattle, you STINK.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DGCKMj7d1Y

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Thursday, December 1, 2016

The Woman Who Made A Sex Tape With Von Miller Didn't Keep It To Extort Him. She Kept It To Masturbate To.

http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/elizabeth-ruiz-not-extorting-von-miller-sex-tape-article-1.2892747

The video where she says this is in the link.  The one right there^.


So this chick





Elizabeth Ruiz is her name, made a sex tape with Von Miller and kept it.  Initial reports were that she wasn't going to let Von have it unless he paid her $2.5million for it.  Turns out she just kept it because sex with Von Miller was so damn good she wanted to go and relive it from time to time.  So you know what?  Fuck Von Miller.  I guess not enough to be the best pass rusher in the NFL and to be one of the highest paid players ever that isn't a quarterback?  But apparently he has to be so damn good at sex that absolute dimes want to keep the tape (a tape he wanted in the first place btw)for themselves just to jackhammer themselves to because he dicked her down so well.  You can't have it all man.  I just assume all famous people are good to very good at sex unless rumored otherwise, but I didn't think anyone was "keep the tape to relive it" good.  Well apparently I was wrong.  Dude has it all on the field, crazy money, and oh, he apparently bangs the brains out of super hot girls you and I couldn't get in our wildest dreams and they just want to keep that memory for ever and ever.  And I'm sure he has a giant dick too.  Not because he's black, but  yeah, of course because he's black.  Well good for him, I'll just stick to trying my best and hoping it's not too awful.  So whenever someone tells you that you can't have it all, tell them, "fuck you Von Miller does."

PS- What if he made up the extortion story in hopes that this real truth would come out?  That would be super cocky and a move you have to respect.  Like inadvertently the biggest humble brag of all time.

PPS- What if the extortion thing was true and he made her make that video saying that's why she kept it and he's giving her the money under the table.  Not to be too woke here, but she was kinda reluctant to say "to play with myself to."  But that's actually probably because she was admitting to the entire world she kept a sex tape she's in to masturbate to which is probably pretty hard to admit.

PPPS- I just made myself hate Von Miller just by writing this blog.  Never had a problem with the guy.  Is that petty? Yeah, it probably is.  But I got noting over here, he's just being selfish.


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Wednesday, November 30, 2016

South African Goalie With Insane Game Tying Bicycle Kick In Stoppage Time


Baroka FC Goalkeeper Oscarine Masuluke scored the goal of a lifetime today.  I'm not going to pretend to be a soccer expert, I like it, but I definitely am no expert.  But this is insane.  Completely nuts.  Not only did the goalie score, he scored on a bicycle kick.  Not just any bicycle kick, but one that tied the game on what would likely have been the absolute last chance of the game.  If you're the other goalie you have to retire right?  You can't come back from that can you?  This guy did not retire, he decided to take a pic with the guy who basically did the impossible on him.



Some may call him a stand-up guy, I would say he isn't competitor.  That's fine, but personally I want someone who's over the top competitive in the net.  Someone border line psychotic.  Someone who would beat up their family for a random example totally off the top of my head.  Need that edge in the net.  Maybe it's just me.  If you want some softie who's just gonna sit back and accept the fact he cost you 3 points in the table by giving up a goal to the keeper that's fine, just don't come crying to me when the team isn't where you want it to be.


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Monday, November 28, 2016

How Sad Are The Eagles For Putting 4th & 26 On Their Jumbotron During Pregame?


For those of you who don't know what that reference means here:



So that was 12 years ago.  Today, as you saw, the jumbotron guy in Philly thought it would be HYSTERICAL to put that up.  Good one?  Got us?  Should we just give you the win now?  Nobody on either team tonight was a part of that game.  Two different head coaches, hell Aaron Rodgers was still in college!  There's a very good chance the Eagles win tonight, but that has more to do with the fact our secondary is garbage and allow 40 points a game than anything that happened in the playoffs 12 years ago.  Did you win the Super Bowl that year?  No???  Well did you even make the Super Bowl?  You didn't??  Have you ever won a Super Bowl?  You haven't?  Well congrats, Philly.  12 years ago you made a great play to win a chance to go to the Super Bowl when you were the best team in the NFC and couldn't even win that.  So in the end, it means..I guess....NOTHING.  But good burn though, good luck tonight.





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Monday, November 21, 2016

Joel Embiid Sends Devin Booker's Shot To The 35th Row. Celebrates Win Wearing His Own Jersey To The Club


My Lord.  Embiid with no regard for human life!  I know he didn't dunk on Booker, but that ball probably injured a fan in the upper bowl he sent that thing so fucking far.  That has to be the most soul-crushing moment in basketball, just seeing you shot get sent to about the 16th row in the 200 level.  Getting dunked on, or j'd, or even crossed up all suck.  But usually they fire you up, getting your shot volleyball spiked to the next town over is just flat out demoralizing.  Poor Devin Booker was having a great year, now I wouldn't be surprised if he never wants to shoot a basketball again.  But how did the big fella celebrate his block and win over Phoenix where he dropped 26 and 20?  He hit the club wearing his own jersey.  Absolute LEGEND.


The Bucks Had An A+ Troll of Warriors Fans in Milwaukee. Or That's What I Thought Before I Found Out It's Been Done Before. A Lot.

So if you're a new reader, or you don't know me, I'm from Wisconsin but I'm not a Bucks fan.  I am a Warriors fan.  I have been since they drafted Steph Curry in 2009, because he's been my favorite player and the biggest reason I got into basketball, and the NBA, since I saw him in the 2008 NCAA Tournament.  So as a Warriors fan I am naturally subjected to any and all bandwagon fan jokes.  It's all in good fun, usually it's as a last resort because people hate my team and their good.  So before the Dubs took on my home state Bucks I saw Barstool Sports tweet this:


I'll admit, I laughed.  It was pretty good.  But then I found out it's been done before.  It's been done a lot actually.  And not just once, and it didn't even start this season.  Last season the Knicks did the same thing to Warriors fans in January.  The Bucks even took one of the jokes WORD FOR WORD



I mean I get it's a general troll question to ask Warriors fans, but c'mon.  You can't blatantly take the joke exactly word for word, that's just lazy.  But the bandwagon cam came out in 2014 (!!) when LeBron was on the Heat and they were playing the Wizards in DC.

Link if you don't believe me: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/dc-sports-bog/wp/2014/01/16/wizards-bandwagon-cam-mocks-heat-fans/

Oh, and our neighbors to the West, the Timberwolves, did the bandwagon cam to Cavs fans in 2015



So before you go sucking Milwaukee's dick because they're so savage and it's the funniest thing ever.  It's been done before, it's still funny but it's not as funny as people want you to think.  Not that this will stop you or anyone else from forcing more 3-1 jokes or hating an incredible team that's maybe the most fun to watch ever other than maybe last year's team because they're good.  See you in June Cleveland.

PS- if you're also a Warrior fan, even a bandwagon fan, prepare to see this A LOT the rest of the year, especially since this one blew up Saturday.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Kate Upton Was INFURIATED With Justin Verlander Losing The Cy Young Last Night

So in case you missed this a) move out from under your rock.  And b) Justin Verlander lost the Cy Young award to Boston's Rick Porcello last night, despite having the most first place votes.  Word got back to Kate that two writers didn't even have Verlander on the ballot and THIS is what followed:



I like that last one.  Like every writer who covers the MLB is an MLB employee, I think not.  Also Rick had 8 first place votes, Verlander had 14, but 8 and zero are basically the same thing, right?  But that's not the point and neither is the fact Verlander lost, because I don't give a shit about that.  What I do give a shit about is that Kate Upton is an absolute ride or die chick and Verlander is a lucky, lucky guy.  That's what I want in a woman.  Someone who will go on an absolute RAMPAGE if she feels I was wrong.  Even if I disagree and it makes us both look bad, who cares.  If you're not prepared to fire off extremely angry tweets defending your girl, and she's not prepared to do the same then what are you doing?  She ain't the one then.

A little more for your entertainment.  Don't say I don't care.



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So How About Drake Blatantly Telling Doris Burke To Come Over On ESPN Last Night?


POWER FUCKING MOVE.  Absolute power move, and a bit aggressive/creepy telling Doris to come have dinner at his place and to come alone.  Shooters shoot man, and Drake ain't shy about letting it fly.  Me personally?  I'm not a big Doris Burke guy.  She's fine and all, just doesn't really do it for me, but the whole internet and ESPN sucks her dick constantly.  Usually when she's calling a game I'd rather she wasn't.  But hey, good for Drake.  If there's anyone who can pull fairly attractive middle aged women, it's mixed Canadian rappers named Aubrey.  And if you're wondering how it worked out?  Doris had this to say on twitter last night.


So it would appear Drake and Doris are gonna fuck.  God bless you crazy kids!


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Syracuse Male Cheerleader Is Shocked By Something When He Looks Upskirt


A video posted by Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) on


 I mean...wow.  I could go the easy lazy route and be all "This dude is gay because he's a male cheerleader and she didn't wear underwear and he's grossed out by vaginas!"  But I won't, because it's not that funny.  Instead I'll assume he's a straight guy who just has a lot of pep.  So what could possibly be going on down there to cause him to do that?  We have a couple reasonable options, but they are not for the faint of heart.

Possibility 1: No underwear and a LOT of hair.
Yeah, not a pretty picture.  Nobody likes hair all over vaginas, nobody normal anyway.  So if this was the case I could definitely see why he reacted the way he did.  It's just like an unwritten rule of society to keep it clean down there.  You want to keep some up above it?  Go for it, but that's all.

Possibility 2: No underwear and messed up vagina
I'll be honest, I have no idea what that would look like.  I'll let you use your imagination on that one.

Possibility 3: Weird underwear
Probably not granny panties because I don't think a cheerleader would wear that, and it'd be very noticeable with the skirts, but it's still possible.  Some weird ass underwear, maybe crotchless panties?  That'd explain the shock, but I'd expect a different kind of shock?  Maybe he's never seen them before?  I don't fucking know.

Possibility 4: She Farted
Nobody likes girl farts.  Mostly because they don't exist, buuuut supposedly they happen.  So maybe this guy was going through life believing girls don't fart and that chick just ripped ass and just rocked his world.  If this is the case I feel for him, nobody should have to go through a trauma like that.

Possibility 5: Period
Yeah, I know it's disgusting and I'm sorry.  But this is the most likely scenario right?  Dude looks up and that's what he sees, that would DEFINITELY cause that reaction.  Not sure why he would double take and stare even harder, you think most people would look away.  Then again, some things are so horrifying you can't look away.  If that's the case this dude needs to buy maxi pads in bulk and give them to her next cheer practice, make sure she gets the hint and it never happens again.  Sure it seems crass, but desperate times call for desperate measures.


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Steph Curry, Jimmy Butler, Dave Chappelle, and Drake Freaking Out at a David Blaine Magic Trick is One of the Greatest Videos Out There



A little late because I had school stuff, but this video is awesome.  Watching these dudes lose their minds as Blaine spits out frogs was A+ stuff.  He just kept em coming too.  I have no idea how David Blaine literally kept frogs in his throat or whatever but it made for a damn funny video.  Not that frog puking is funny, the reactions were.  There's a reason why the black people watching magic stereotype exists, and I'm glad it does.  Every time they went "OOHHHH" and freaked the hell out I laughed.  I wish I was there, I would've been doing it right along side of them.  Instead I'm just sitting here laughing at it and just being generally un-phased by the trick itself in my boring white way.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Watch This Lady Kill It On The Dance Cam During Last Night's Warrior Game

I love this lady.  Love her.  Absolutely electric.  I was watching the game last night and late in the first quarter it went to break, and on league pass during commercial breaks you get the jumbotron feed.  So when the dance cam came up I was expecting the usual corny white folks dancing off rhythm and whatnot.  You know, the uge.  But when the camera flipped to this lady I was mesmerized.  Never have I seen a creature move with such grace and dignity.  She was in the fucking ZONE.  It made me want to dance.  The way she just cut loose looked so freeing.  I want to live like dance cam lady.  I want to dance like no ones watching when 20,000 people plus however many were watching the game on league pass (both the Dallas feed and the GS feed would have seen her) were in fact watching.  She is now my motivation.  From now on I too shall live carefree like this magnificent woman.  I can almost guarantee you I won't, but goddamn do I want to.  God bless dance cam lady.  God bless us all.



via GIPHY

Beautiful.



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Monday, October 31, 2016

LeBron Takes Some Savage AF Shots at the Warriors With Halloween Decorations.






Boom.  Roasted.

Is LeBron James the pettiest human being to ever walk this earth?  I'm not posing that question jokingly.  He really may be.  Look, obviously as a Warrior fan and LeBron hater, this gets me riled.  But for real?  It happened, let's see...oh, right, 4 months ago!  This 3-1 lead joke hasn't been funny for a few weeks at least now.  It was pretty funny when it started, I admit I had a good chuckle at some of them, but it's dead.  So leave it to tone def Bron Bron to stab a few more holes in the corpse.  What else did he do?  Did he have a crying Jordan cake?  Did he run around pointing at people's shoes and go WHAT ARE THOOOOSEEEE.  Did he dress as Kermit and sip tea?  Was he dropping daaaamn daniels on people?  Did some how involve Ken Bone and the condescending Wonka too??  And the headstone cookies.  You murdered them Bronny?  Did ya?  We all know Steph Curry owns your brain
 but he's still easily the second best player in the world.  Klay is top 15 as well.

This is maybe the biggest "look at me" moment by LeBron ever.  You know when you see a guy in a super expensive sports car and you think "wow that guy must have a small dick?"  (Maybe you don't think that, but that's the stereotype.)  That's what this is.  He knows what could (and likely will) happen when the Warriors figure it out.  So he's trying to remind everyone that he beat a 73 win team.  Remember that?  He's the great savior and the Warriors are the biggest chokers ever!  But yet he's still shook.  A real man wouldn't go to such lengths, only a man with underlying confidence issues would.  A man who's afraid of what's coming.  So get your shots in now, we'll see who's laughing in June.

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Tuesday, October 25, 2016

2016-17 NBA Preview

I've never done a season preview for anything yet, so this is my first.  I'm going to tell you where I think each team will finish in the conference and why (not specific records because that's insane), who will represent each team in the Finals, who I think will be the champs come June, and then some awards.  Like MVP ROY stuff like that, nothing too crazy.  Pretty standard stuff.  I'm pumped for tomorrow and if you're reading this hopefully you are too.  If you're not then stick around, read this, read some of my other blogs.  Give me some feedback or whatever.  I'm not telling you to do those things because it's your life, but do those things.  Here we go!

Western Conference

1.) Golden State Warriors

I mean, obviously right?  The best team in the West the last two years just added Kevin Durant to a roster that includes Steph Curry, Klay Thompson, and Draymond Green.  Throw in one of the best benches in the league and the Dubs dominance will continue.  KD is already fitting in great and it'll only get better as the year goes on.  The Warriors could (should) trade for a shot blocker because the man they drafted to essentially be Festus Ezeli's replacement (they're both athletic 7 footers from Vanderbilt for god's sake) Damian Jones isn't really NBA ready, and Javale McGee is a wildcard.  Other than that this team should roll right to the Finals barring any major injuries.

2.) San Antonio Spurs

Some may think the Spurs will take a step back this year, and they will.  I don't see them winning 67 games again, but they're certainly the second best team in a West that as a whole is getting weaker.  You replace legend Tim Duncan, who didn't play as much or as well as usual last year, with Pau Gasol who is still a strong producer in the league.  Tony Parker and Manu are getting older and it is starting to show but they're still good enough to keep the Spurs as the main threat to stopping the Warriors from reaching a third straight finals.

3.) Los Angeles Clippers

I think the Clippers could easily be the 2 seed in the West this year, I went with San Antonio because they're much more consistent.  The Clippers have more star-power than the Spurs and have a great starting 5.  The problem as usual with the Clips will be bench play and health.  If their stars stay healthy, and more than just Jamal Crawford has an impact off the bench, then there's no reason they can't make their first West Finals since being in Cali and even challenging the Warriors.

4.) Portland Trail Blazers

Here's where the West gets tricky for me.  After the 3 contenders it's about 7 teams who could round out the last 5 playoff spots.  I think the Blazers will build on their success from last year.  A year where people thought they'd fall of A LOT.  Lillard and McCollum are a top 5 backcourt and they added some bench pieces in Evan Turner and Festus Ezeli.  I think they'll have a good regular season and maybe win a playoff series but won't do more than that.  Expect a big year from Lillard though, I think he may get some MVP consideration.

5.) Oklahoma City Thunder

I don't expect the Thunder to all of a sudden go back to being a lottery team.  They have Westbrook still, and throw Victor Oladipo into the backcourt with him and that's a solid tandem.  Still have Steven Adams and Enes Kanter down low.  Losing Serge Ibaka and KD hurts a lot obviously but the foundation is solid enough to keep OKC in that mid-40 win range which should warrant a top 5 seed in the West.  Plus how awesome would it be if they were the 4 or 5 seed and won to set up a matchup with Golden State.  You know you'd watch just for the Russ v KD drama.  Like if Cleveland hadn't been ass when LeBron abandoned them and made it as like the 8 seed vs Miami.

6.) Houston Rockets

You could argue the Rockets being 4 or 5 honestly.  I don't think they'll win 60 games like in 2014-15, but I think Houston will have a great regular season.  Because they will score, and score a lot.  Mike D'Antoni will have his pick and roll rocking with Harden and Capela they added another shooter in Eric Gordon.  The defense won't be good, but expect a lot of shoot outs with this team.

7.) Utah Jazz

This is the year the Jazz make the jump from 9 to in the field.  They won't win a series in my opinion, but they'll finally make it after failing last year when everyone said they would.  Great defense and some good scorers plus a guy you can trust in the clutch with Gordon Hayward.  Add in do-it-all vet Boris Diaw there's no reason the Jazz should fail to sneak in the playoffs this year.

8.) Memphis Grizzlies

I wanted so badly to put the Minnesota Timberwolves in here, but I couldn't.  The Grizzlies will be a lower seed again this year, in part because the talent isn't what it has been, and because their best three players, Conley, Gasol, and new addition Chandler Parsons, are all coming back from injuries.  I think it'll be a slow start but Memphis will do just enough to sneak in and get bounced quickly.

---------------------------

9.) Minnesota Timberwolves

I wanted to put Minnesota in the playoffs, I want them to make the playoffs, but I think they're a year away yet.  The defense is already much improved being number 2 in defensive efficiency in the pre-season.  They were number 27 last season.  Tom Thibodeau is known as a defensive guy.  They have great young talent in Karl Towns, Andrew Wiggins, Zach LaVine, and rookie Kris Dunn.  And plus Thibs has never not made the playoffs as a head coach.  He did take a Chicago team to 60 wins in his first year there, but they were a playoff team the year before.  Minnesota won 29 games last year.  A step up from 15 the year before, but pencil them in around 40 this year.  The West isn't full of 7 50 win teams like 2 years ago, but there's still plenty of good teams that have been there before and aren't losing a lot of talent.

10.)  Dallas Mavericks

Unless the Mavs make a mid-season block buster trade, they will fall.  They added Seth Curry, who I think will be a very good bench player, injury-prone Andrew Bogut who's still effective when healthy, and Harrison Barnes to a roster that seemed to show it's age last year.  Dirk literally can't play defense anymore and Bogut is getting old himself.  They gave Barnes a max deal and he can't shoot to save his soul in the preseason.  Making him your number 1 option, should never be an option.  He was great as a complimentary player in Golden State.  He will struggle in Dallas unless you surround him with great players and tell him to shoot when wide open.  He doesn't create his own shot very well and he couldn't hit anything in the finals last year, and it appears it has carried over.  Dallas will be on the outside looking in this year.

11.) New Orleans Pelicans

Health is the big concern with the Pels.  AD is often injured and has to do everything for his team.  This isn't a good defensive team.  I love adding Buddy Hield, but they need more.  Tyreke Evans and Jrue Holiday are expected to miss time to start the year.  They didn't do anything really to improve a team that won 30 games last year.  Davis needs more help if New Orleans wants to make the playoffs anytime soon.

12.) Denver Nuggets

So much young talent, how will it blend together?  This team could knock on the door of the playoffs, or could win 28 games.  Mike Malone is a good coach, but it's time for the Nuggets to maybe move some guys they don't see as part of the future of the team and find a foundation with the guys they do see as part of the future.

13.) Phoenix Suns

They have some good young guys, but don't expect a lot from the Suns this year.  They found their 2 guard of the future in Devin Booker, drafted to add some front court depth, but still a lot of raw guys up there like Alex Len.  It's going to take another year or two to really see what they have in them.  In the meantime they should look to move either Eric Bledsoe or Brandon Knight for picks or more wing or front court depth.  Maybe a definite backup point guard.

14.) Los Angeles Lakers

Love D'Angelo Russell, Julius Randle, and I think Brandon Ingram will be solid.  Luke Walton will be a great head coach there.  While they continue to rebuild the Lakers should look to move guys like Nick Young and Lou Williams to try and add better vets, or more young guys/draft picks.  Maybe even consider moving Jordan Clarkson for a less ball-dominant backcourt mate for Russell, or move him to the bench if he'll accept it.  The Lakers are still a ways away from being the Lakers again, but the future is bright for the Lake Show.

15.) Sacramento Kings

I have the Kings here because I say this is the year they finally trade Demarcus Cousins.  He's not coming back to Sacramento, so they should finally trade him and get a lot back in return.  End what has been an ugly marriage from the start.  The Kings need a fresh start, because their franchise has been a mess for a while now.  They need to get their front office in order, find a coach they'll be happy with if they aren't with Dave Joeger, and then start building through the draft with actual good picks this time.  No more adding random vets and hoping it'll work out.  No more firing 78 coaches a year.  The Kings need order and they need to start by letting go Demarcus.  They both need that.

Eastern Conference

1.) Cleveland Cavaliers

Not much has changed for the defending champs.  Still got Bron Bron, Kyrie, K Love, JR, etc.  The super team that everyone forgets is a super team.  The only thing the Cavs are missing is a backup point after letting Delly walk to Milwaukee.  Cavs won't win 65+ games or anything, but they should be the top seed in the East, and even if they aren't who's gonna stop them in the playoffs anyway?  Exactly.

2.) Toronto Raptors

The best team in Toronto franchise history is back, and looking to suck less in the playoffs.  They lost Bismack Biyombo who was good for them, and added Jared Sullinger, who I hate but they need more depth at the power forward.  The problem is Sully got hurt and it's unclear when he'll be back.  I still think Toronto will continue their trend of being a very good regular season team, maybe they'll be a bit of a threat in the East.  Maybe.

3.) Boston Celtics

The Celtics are in for a very good year.  They have one of the best coaches in the NBA in Brad Stevens, and a roster that was good and improved by adding Al Horford at a position of need.  Al doesn't really address the need for better rebounding as well as other centers, but he's very good and very versatile and Boston is suddenly a piece or two away from being a contender again.

4.) Indiana Pacers

Paul George is going to have a great year, and so is Indiana.  Adding Al Jefferson as a mentor to Myles Turner and as a bench scoring threat is great.  Bringing in borderline all-star type point Jeff Teague is another move I like.  I'd like it if they had a more traditional off guard instead of Monta Ellis, but Ellis is still an effective player.  Look for Indiana to have success and for the Paul George-Lebron James rivalry to return this year.

5.) Atlanta Hawks

Dwight Howard isn't an upgrade over Al Horford, and I'd take Jeff Teague over Dennis Schroeder.  That being said, the Hawks are still good, though don't expect them to be as good as they were the last two years under coach Bud.  This year they'll fall back into the mix of about 9 teams that could round out the bottom half of the bracket in the East.

6.) Detroit Pistons

Reggie Jackson missing time hurts, but the good news is it's early.  I expect Detroit to take a step forward this year (8 seed to 6 is huge, I know) though there's not much that separates them from the other 7 or 8 teams around this level and it's unlikely they'll cause a lot of trouble in the playoffs if they get there, but stranger things have happened and this year should be a good one for this young core in Motown.

7.) Charlotte Hornets

I'm putting Charlotte in the playoffs simply because they've been here before.  Twice in the last three years.  They lost Al Jefferson, but they still have Frank Kaminsky and Spencer Hawes.  Lost Courtney Lee but Michael Kidd-Gilcrest is back this year.  So the offense won't be what it was, but Steve Clifford is a very good defensive coach and I expect Charlotte to be back in the playoffs again this year, and a big year from Kemba Walker.

8.) Washington Wizards

I'm taking a risk and saying the Wizards will make the playoffs banking on the fact they stay fairly healthy.  John Wall and Brad Beal is a top 3 or 4 backcourt, the problem is Beal is always hurt.  He's great when in, just he needs to be in more often.  This Wizards team has some depth, and decent role guys.  Not a championship contender by any means, but if they can shoot well enough, and stay healthy then there's no reason they shouldn't make it.

------------------------------

9.) Chicago Bulls

This year should be a train wreck with lot's of head butting in Chicago.  Head butting between Wade, Rondo, and Butler.  And those three butting heads with Fred Hoiberg.  I think the Mayor would be a good NBA coach if he were hired by like Philly, or Brooklyn, or Phoenix.  Not a franchise who can't get out of its own way and brought in two super alpha males to team up with their existing alpha male, and non of whom can shoot a 3 for shit.  It should be an entertaining disaster in Chi town this year as this team throws up brick after brick trying to sneak into the post season.  The only way they make it is if those three somehow find a way to coexist and their few shooters can consistently be lights-out.  So good luck.

10.) New York Knicks

The Knicks have playoff talent this year.  The issue is that their two biggest additions this year, Derrick Rose and Joakim Noah, are always hurt.  Melo gets hurt more often now as well.  And there's not much depth this year.  They have Brandon Jennings and that's about it.  Had this roster been constructed in 2010 then the Knicks would be title contenders.  For the Knicks to even make the playoffs they'll need their stars to stay healthy, play well, and for Porzingis to continue his rapid growth.  I think New York will fall just short this year.

11.) Miami Heat

Losing Wade and Chris Bosh is never good.  Especially when you have to turn to Goran Dragic and Hassan Whiteside to lead your franchise as Justise Winslow continues to grow.  I don't think Miami will make the post season this year, just not enough there.

12.) Milwaukee Bucks

People in my home state are FIRED UP about the young Bucks.  I think they need to chill out, they're still the Bucks.  I want the Bucks to succeed, I don't hate them.  But they're still a front office you can never really trust, and still a team that can't shoot at all.  Like Chicago bad, maybe worse.  And their only really reliable shooter, Kris Middleton, is out to start the year.  I love adding Delly as it's a natural fit, but he's still not great and expect that three point percentage to drop if he's the only guy the d needs to worry about.  This is a team that won 33 games last year and didn't do much of anything to improve.  I say they'll be around 40-43 this year, but they need more shooting to open things up for all their best players.

13.) Orlando Magic

An intriguing team, and the last of the group that can challenge for a low playoff seed.  They have some great young guys in Mario Hezonja, Nick Vucivic, Elfrid Payton, and Aaron Gordon.  But they traded away Oladipo for Serge Ibaka in a move that was puzzling to me.  Gordon is their power forward of the future, so why bring in Ibaka who plays that same position and trade away a guard which they need?  Orlando could maybe be the 8 seed, Frank Vogel is a great coach after all, but I doubt it.  Another lottery year for the Magic.

14.) Philadelphia 76ers

The good news: Philly get's Joel Embid on the court for the first time since drafting him in 2014, and they won't suck as much.
The bad news:  Number 1 overall pick Ben Simmons is expected to miss most of the year and they'll still suck.

15.) Brooklyn Nets

Just an abysmal roster.  I'd be shocked if they won 20 games this year.  Expect the worst Nets fans, and just know that your dumbass front office mortgaged your future to Boston for three washed up guys that brought you one playoff series win.  Now you'll suck for the foreseeable future and the assholes in Boston will reap the benefits of it.  You are a complete and utter joke of a franchise.

--------------------------------

East Champ

Cleveland Cavaliers

West Champ

Golden State Warriors

Finals Champ

Golden State Warriors

MVP

Paul George

ROY

Buddy Hield


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Saturday, October 15, 2016

Ole Miss QB Chad Kelly Slides Into Mia Khalifa's DMs for the Second Time. Ole Miss QB Chad Kelly Gets Crushed By Mia Khalifa for the Second Time.

TALE OF THE TAPE:


Chad "Swag" Kelly
height: 6'2"
weight: 209lbs
other: Starting quarterback for Ole Miss.  Swag out the ass. (I mean it's his nickname so I'm assuming that's true.)  Prob pulls a ton of non-famous chicks.  Incredibly stupid.

VS


Mia Khalifa
Height: 5'2"
Weight: 120
other: Former porn star.  Now works for Fansided.  Is a smoke.  Has murdered people on twitter before.  From a brief scroll through her tweets she's pretty funny though I personally don't like any of the teams she roots for (DC area and FSU).

Let's do this.

So for those of you who forgot or don't know it happened, or you just want to relive it, in early September Chad Kelly tried to slide in to Miss Khalifa's dm's.  It went like this:




Swag Kelly promptly deleted his account.  He later re-activated it.  Now it appears Chad is incapable of learning lessons as he tried his luck with Mia again:




I mean, really?  Such a Chad move to keep hitting on a girl who CLEARLY doesn't want any of him. Probably the most Chad move of all time.  Even more of a Chad move than when Chad Le Clos tried to psych Michael Phelps out and then got his ass kicked.  So unbelievably Chad that nobody should really be surprised that Chad did this.  I mean who hasn't been there though?  One minute you're sliding into a pornstar's dms thinking she'll let you smash because, you know, she did porn.  The next she's publicly making you look like a chump.  But to have the audacity to try it again thinking it'll be different is RIDICULOUS.  Look, shooters shoot and Chad Kelly is apparently an absolute gunner, but maybe next time try some Ole Miss Kappa girl or something.

Oh, and RIP in peace sweet prince.



PS- How about that opening line in round 2?  Basically said, "hey you know you fucked dudes on camera right?"  How did that not work?  Seems thoughtful, clever, with a hint of romantic to me.

PPS- I think it's funny she keeps destroying Kelly, but this is why chicks are scary.  If you attempt a dm slide or a line and she's not going for it this is a very real possibility.  Not on this scale of course.  I mean this is a bad example because Kelly comes off as an arrogant dick and it's easy to not be a creep but still.  Ruthless.


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Thursday, October 13, 2016

Kentucky Couple Gets Married Waiting to Buy Big Blue Madness Tickets

http://thebiglead.com/2016/10/01/couple-gets-married-while-camping-out-in-line-for-tickets-for-kentucky-wildcats-practice/




You know, I was gonna talk about how these hicks are NUTS for getting married while waiting in line to buy tickets to a PRACTICE, but I won't.  Growing up I was lead to believe that all girls want a huge fancy ass wedding that will cost you a ton of money.  Like literally you're paying to throw the longest, most expensive, and elegant party of your whole life but she'll tell you it's not a party it's a celebration of your love for each other and the fact that you will have (I'm told) infrequent sex with her for the rest of your life.  (She doesn't tell you the last part it's just known and widely accepted.)  (Also a solid 98% of my knowledge of weddings and adult relationships comes from sitcoms, what of it?)  But though this gal doesn't exactly look like a girl I would want to marry or hook up with, I like her.  Why blow money on a ball room and shit and get married in a stuffy uncomfortable church dressed in expensive clothes like a sucker when you can get married on a lovely fall day waiting to go buy tickets to see your favorite collection of teenage boys practice a sport the rest of your region of the country doesn't give a fuck about?  Honestly this may be my dream wedding, it won't happen because I doubt I could find a girl that would either like this idea, or agree to this idea and be attractive, and the tickets should be for something important and maybe not the ticket line either.  Maybe like a tailgate wedding ya know?  Something real classy.  Me and my girl getting married on the steps of Lambeau Field as it snows.  But anyway, this guy seems happy with this girl who seems happy with this whole situation so good for them.  I'd never do it, most all normal people wouldn't do it, but all the more reason to be happy for these two crazy cats fans.  I hope you don't get divorced and I hope that practice kicks ass!

PS-instead of saying "I do" they should have said "Cats by 90"

PPS- I hate Kentucky but goddamn do I love #Catsby90.  So cocky and pretty funny.  I want to steal it for my teams but I don't know if I should.  I might.  I probably will.

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Paul Pierce Says Today's NBA Stars Are Less Competitive Than In His Day Due To Super Teams.

http://www.cbssports.com/nba/news/paul-pierce-laments-kevin-durants-warrior-decision-as-sign-of-a-less-competitive-generation/


Basically, the Truth was not impressed with the decision: 
"I could have left Boston years ago but I stuck it out. I just feel like when you're that close as a competitor, you don't go join the team that just pushed you out. That's just me personally but we're living in a day and time where there's a new generation. Guys I don't think they are as hungry or competitive as my generation was, and that's why you'll probably see more of that."


This fucking guy.  Let's slow your roll here Mr. Truth.  You are out here bashing a man who joined the best regular season team of all time because he felt his window in OKC was closed and he wanted a change of both scenery and culture and to maybe actually win a title?  Ok, but you do remember playing for the 2008 Celtics right?  The team that basically started this "big 3"/"super team" era?  Ok, good, so how about you get off of your high fucking horse before you start calling this generation soft.  Do I like that KD joined my dubs and will take away some of Steph's shine?  I absolutely do not.  But I think it took a lot of balls to leave a good situation in OKC to try and dominate with a great team. A team that did NOT win the title so you could make the case they needed an upgrade.  So before you call this generation soft, remember that two of the top players from YOUR generation (Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett) joined you in Boston to be a super team and roll to a ring.  Just because Kobe and Duncan never left doesn't make your generation perfect.  Steve Nash left to try and form a super team in LA with Kobe and Dwight.  That obviously didn't work out and Phoenix was about to rebuild anyway, but still.  Vince Carter joining that early 2000s Nets team?  Kidd going back to Dallas?  Not to mention after being traded from Boston (not his fault, I know) you went to a young promising team in Washington, and then left to try and chase a ring in LA with the Clippers.  Obviously not super teams, but I didn't see you in the green and white when the Celts were hanging in the lottery trying to claw their way back.

I'm really sick of the whole super team bashing in general.  I get it, I hated when LeBron and Bosh joined Miami, if it's not your team I get hating it.  That being said remember any of those 80s Lakers teams everyone loves?  Super team.  Wilt going to LA before that?  Super team.  Rodman joining Jordan and Pippen?  Definitely a big 3 and given they were all top 10-15 players at the time, you could say that they were a super team.  See where I'm going with this?  In 15 years nobody will be bitching about KD leaving and they'll all be honoring the fuck out of these upcoming Warriors teams.

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Friday, September 2, 2016

Stanford Swimmer Brock Turner Released After 3 Months In Prison For Rape

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/brock-turner-convicted-sexual-assault-offender-released-jail-after-3-n641981

(Picture by whatever that font says)

Today Brock Turner was released from prison after 3 months of a 6 month prison sentence for rape.  RAPE.  That probably sounds familiar right?  That story that broke in late May/early June about the Stanford swimmer who was found having sex with an unconscious girl.  The kid who only got 6 months for that because the judge didn't want to "ruin his life" because he had no prior trouble with the law.  And his dad cried to the media defending his son because people were upset.  And before I continue, let me address that before I continue because I didn't blog the original story.

The fact a judge gave that for reasoning is absolutely INSANE.  You know it, I know it.  If this kid killed someone do you think they would've given him 6 months?  The psychological damage sexual assault has on a woman is something I can't even begin to imagine.  The fact he's 18 with no record means NOTHING.  This kid likely ruined that girls life and he deserves a very long sentence.  Basically if I were that girl, I'd be thinking that judge thinks my life is worth 3 months.  What if Big Brock gets hammered again?  What if he's hanging with a chick, they're both blasted and this happens again?  You think 3 fucking months is gonna make him think he won't be able to get away with it?  

But hey, who am I to say what's right?  This poor, poor kid OBVIOUSLY didn't do anything that wrong.  We've all been blackout drunk and done something stupid am I right?  Maybe you hit up your ex or that girl you like and said something you'll regret forever.  Maybe you hit the dance floor and made an ass of yourself.  Maybe you broke some shit, or a couple bones.  Maybe you stuck your dick in an unconscious chick because you thought she'd let you hit it if she stayed conscious.  Same same, right?  No?  Are you sure?  Huh, weird, because clearly what this kid did wasn't that horrible, and he was drunk so who can really blame him?

Unfuckingbelievable.  Not one to wish harm on anyone, but I wouldn't be upset if I saw this kid got the shit beat out of him.  Not saying I want that to happen, I just wouldn't feel bad for him if it did.

(I hope it does happen.)


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South Carolina High School Unleashes The WORST Sideline Paint Job Ever


 So awesome.  So damn awesome.  I saw this when I woke up this morning and got to start my day with a chuckle.  Don't most JV football teams play on the same field as the varsity?  They do in Wisconsin, but I guess something like this coming out of fucking South Carolina shouldn't be a huge shocker.  And can you blame the guy who did this?  If my job was painting the sidelines for a high school in some hick town in South Carolina I'd probably throw in the towel and just walk without a care in the world too, fuck it.  What're they gonna do? Fire me?  Good, that job probably SUCKS.  It's like, you ever mow your lawn and you don't pay enough attention and you turn around and you see you were just all over the place?  That's what this is.  Maybe a hot senior was running on the track and caught the field painters eye and distracted him.  Can't fault him for that.  Either way this whole situation is fantastic.  Just the worst sideline of all time, even the Hall of Fame game guys think this is terrible (LOL).


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Thursday, August 18, 2016

RGIII Tattoos the Name of his New Girlfriend, On His Arm, For the World To See

http://www.tmz.com/2016/08/17/robert-griffin-iii-i-got-my-new-chick-tatted-on-my-arm/


Should you get your girlfriends name tatted on your arm before your divorce is final?




In fact, you should NEVER get a tattoo of a significant other unless you're married and you're like 10000000% sure you guys are NOT getting divorced.  So what does Bobby G 3 do?  Goes and gets the FULL NAME of the girl he recently started dating tatted on his arm above his throwing hand BEFORE HIS DIVORCE IS EVEN FINAL!! Let alone married to her!  That's insane! Right?  No it definitely is.  That's batshit crazy by RGIII.  And the fact that this went viral leads me to imagine this Grete Sadeiko (who's super hot btw) found out via not Bob himself.  Could you imagine?  "Hey babe, did you get a new tattoo?"  "Yeah, want to see it?  I was going to surprise you, it's your-"  "Yeah my FULL NAME, I know."  "You know?"  "Yeah it's all over the internet, what the HELL were you thinking?"  And that's the question isn't it?  I know she was probably the first to know about the tattoo, and the fact they aren't broken up should tell you all we need to know about her.  But we all know RGIII has slowly been losing it since his knee disintegrated his rookie year.  But this is a touch aggressive, no?  If there's two tattoo's you don't get it's a tribal or barbed wire arm band, a team logo (unless it's part of a larger tat or you played there), and significant other's names unless you're at least married.  Other than that get any tattoo you want and I won't judge you.  But Robbie just does what he wants.  This is the same guy who went out of his way to buy a used piece of shit car and post it bragging about how humble he is.  And the guy who leaves lame motivation in his locker when he gets cut.  God help the Browns.  God help Grete Sadeiko.  God help us all.

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Ryan Lochte WAS Robbed In Rio


If you haven't heard this WILD story from the Olympics then climb out from under your rock my friend and let me catch you up!  So Sunday a story broke, via Lochte's mom, that Lochte along with fellow US swimmers James Feigen, Jack Conger, and Gunnar Bentz, were robbed and held at gunpoint by fake cops outside a Brazilian gas station.  Then the IOC said they were lying and later on NATIONAL TV Lochte doubled down on his account and gave us this gem: (the Lochte part starts at 2:10)



Then on Tuesday two of the swimmers that WERE robbed were pulled off of their flight, one never made it to the airport, and Lochte was already in the US.  They were taken into custody by Brazilian "authorities."  Now today Brazil claims they have video evidence that the quartet was not robbed and they were pissing on a gas station and broke the bathroom door down so they could get in.  No gun was pulled, and the swimmers were hammered.  The swimmers held by authorities confirmed the Brazil government's story, even though TMZ reported there was a gun involved, a detail the Brazilians conveniently left out.  Here's their "security footage."



Yeah, ok Brazil.  I believe Lochte.  Why?  Well other than the fact multiple other Olympians were mugged, Brazil and the IOC didn't want any more bad press.  The IOC doesn't want it because the whole world knows they were paid off by Rio to host the games and they're trying to avoid things getting worse and also trying to avoid a FIFA situation wherein all the officials get arrested and lose their posts.  Brazil/Rio doesn't want it because tourists=$$$ and nobody's gonna want to visit Rio if they think they're going to be robbed at gunpoint while trying to see some Brazilian ass, gigantic Jesus, and chill on Copacabana.  So they found four white dudes, had one of them dye their hair that dumbass blonde, and act out their side of the story.  I can't confirm who those guys are, I can't see their faces.  Why did the others agree to say Lochte lied?  Simple, Rio police were waterboarding them (or maybe regular interrogation tactics were used, who knows?) and they decided Lochte (the only one smart enough to get out and avoid those crazy Brazilians) wasn't worth going to jail for.  Especially not Rio jail.  So they threw poor Ryan under the bus, ran over him, backed over him, then ran over him one more time on the way out.  Rio wanted the bad press to stop and so they pulled out all the stops to make Lochte look like a lying dick.  Ryan Lochte is an idiot, sure.  But he is an honest idiot.  I'd trust him with my life and I've never met him.  The crime and corruption of Rio de Janerio continues, and the fact poor Locthe is being bashed is just sad.  Ryan, were you telling the truth?


Case closed.  #ISTANDWITHLOCHTE  do you?


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Sunday, July 24, 2016

Is Lionel Messi Having A Mid Life Crisis?


Yup, that is Argentina's prodigal son Lionel Messi just chilling, with some blonde ass hair.  Now why on earth would he do that?  He's still the best soccer player in the world and considered by many the best ever, and has a smoke show of a wife and I'm sure millions of other dimes that would gladly hop on him.  So what is it then?  He's only 29, which is actually younger than the second best player Cristiano Ronaldo who's 31.  So it may not be exactly a MID life crisis but that's what we'll go with.  I mean I didn't know he had that nasty beard (which looks awful on him by the way) until I saw him destroy the US in the Copa America, and I noticed he recently got that tat sleeve on his arm.  And by recently I mean last year I think.  Now the hair?  Look I get blonde hair is sweet.  I'm blonde it looks great right now in the summer, but when it gets darker in the winter I hate it, I want the sandy blonde back instead of the dirty blonde.  (Side note I hate when people call it dishwater blonde because that sounds way more disgusting than dirty blonde. But that's unrelated.)  But Leo was never blonde ever I don't think.  So what gives?  If he was like 20-24 and he was getting the tats, the hair, the beard, I'd chalk it up to a young star blowing some dough.  But once you hit like 27/28 in my mind you're a real adult from there on out.  So even though he's 29 I'm now expecting him to go buy like a leather jacket, a shitty sports car, start throwing down tons of viagra, and have an affair with an 18 year old.  If any of this happens you heard it here first.

PS- I see where Messi is trying to up his look when the guy who's right there with you for best in the world looks like this:

I'm not even a good soccer player, let alone a pro, let alone one of the best and I want to do anything I can to look that good.  Makes me want to hit the weights right now.  Goddamnit Ronaldo.


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Monday, July 4, 2016

Kevin Durant Signs With....The Golden State Warriors

http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/16759826/kevin-durant-announces-sign-golden-state-warriors


I've been on record saying I hate this move even when it was just speculation.  It's an unnecessary move on both sides.  The Warriors don't need KD, they won 73 games and should have beaten Cleveland for the title again.  KD doesn't need the Warriors, OKC should've beaten the Warriors in the West Finals.  Apparently (according to Adrian Wojnarowski) KD was pressured by his inner circle to make a big splashy move for marketing.  Now the Warriors lose some of the depth that helped make them so great, though it probably wouldn't be hard to convince good players to sign for less because they'll win a lot of rings.  You'd think because I'm a Warrior fan that I'd be all about this move, but I HATE it.  I wanted to see Steph continue to dominate and KD will certainly impact that.  Now what's he gonna score?  26 a game instead of 30+?  Not a fan.  And how will KD fit in the free-flowing ball movement oriented offense?  If you remember the GS OKC series he played a LOT of isolation and it did not work.  I don't know if Kev can fall in line, I feel like he'll try and be the number one option.  Also this makes the NBA playoffs so much less fun. Nobody in the East is still close to competing with LeBron and Cleveland, and now the only team in the West who could maybe compete with Golden State is San Antonio.  I hope he leaves soon, this move is actually more spineless than Bron Bron going to play with his pals in South Beach.  But as my heart lies with Steph I have to remain a Warriors fan and therefore root for this super team.  I hate myself already.

PS- Get a load of the balls on Nike.  You could've had Steph still if you didn't botch his goddamn name and use recycled slides you never edited during your presentation.  You know what Fuck Nike, I ordered shoes last week and they still haven't even shipped from Nike yet and they were supposed to arrive last Thursday.  They're lucky adidas and under armour suck so much.

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