Weekend Rewind

Pretty exciting weekend in the NBA, so that's what I'll start with.  Mainly two games featuring top 6 teams in the Association and two game winners by All-Star point guards.

Toronto v Cleveland

The Raptors continued closing the gap on the Cavs with a 99-97 win over Cleveland in the Air Canada Centre.  How'd they win?  Well Kyle Lowry hit a loooong two with 3.8 seconds left giving him a career high 43 points and more importantly his team the win.

  LeBron had a chance to win it and then this happened:

Oh siiiiiiick!  Best player in the game!  All hail King James!  I get infinite amounts of joy from that clip.

Oh.  Sorry Bron Bron.  Guess you kinda suck after all.

Anyway, the Cavs followed up this game by losing by 14 to the 28-30 Wizards on Sunday.  Toronto though lost in Detroit, so they remain two games behind Cleveland for first in the East.  The Cavs are 41-17 and Toronto is 39-19.

Golden State v Oklahoma City

Aka the highlight of the weekend.  It was an all time classic game that saw the Warriors come back and force overtime, (KD fouled out in the first minute of OT) and Stephen Curry have an ankle injury come back and tie the single game 3 point record of 12 makes, and hit a 38 foot game winner.  But before OT Klay Thompson went for the quick two after KD put OKC up 4 with a 3.  Then they trapped KD on the inbound and he threw it away and Andre Iguodala was fouled by Durant.  Iggy is not a great free throw shooter, but he knocked down both free throws to tie the game.  Then both teams battled and only this prevented double OT:

for the full effect:



and just because KD was awesome too with 37 and it was a great game:


So Steph finished with 46, including 12 threes.  It was unbelievable.  Don't forget he had that ankle injury in the 3rd quarter too.  He didn't practice today because of it and might miss tomorrows game vs the Hawks.  He's the best.  Maybe even better than the game itself was Magic Johnson's post-game analysis:

Brilliant, Magic.  Absolutely brilliant.

In other news:

Well in the NCAA hoops world, Carolina lost to UVA, Duke got their dicks kicked in by PITT (hahaha), Wisconsin keeps on winning beating Michigan last night.  Michigan State stays hot by beating Penn State.  Xavier followed up beating number 1 Villanova by losing to Seton Hall.  And Iowa lost AGAIN, this time to Ohio State.  Oh, and Oklahoma lost to Texas.  So college basketball remains a mess, and tomorrow starts the best month of the year! (March, March is the best.  Because of March Madness.)  The combine happened, but I really don't care about that, the NFL draft is brutal tv.  So are drafts in general but the NFL draft is literally 4 days, its too much.  But it is basketball's time now so I hope you're all enjoying it.

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Update in Grayson Allen Tripgate: The ACC Steps Up And Reprimands Him! So Brutal!

The ACC has reprimanded Grayson Allen for tripping incident in Florida State game.

— Dana O'Neil (@ESPNDanaOneil) February 26, 2016

Woah take it easy ACC!  Dropping the hammer on Grayson Allen for his second tripping!!  You had to go and reprimand him?!?!  So how many games is he going to miss?  None?  Oh, well, is he going to have to come off the bench instead of start?  No?  Well then what is the punishment?  NOTHING?

Yeah, all this means is the ACC gave Grayson Allen a fucking warning.  Nothing more.  Dude gets caught blatantly tripping another player for the second time in less than a month, and the ACC does nothing.  You know Duke won't do anything about it.  They only have like 3 healthy players left, and plus even if they had 12 they still wouldn't.  God forbid one of those assholes is actually punished.  That statement from the ACC basically said, "We don't fucking care, we don't want to hear about this anymore, so fine, you've been warned Grayson."  Another case of the name on the front of the jersey prevailing.  Unbelievable.  How many guys does he need to trip to actually be punished?

In case you somehow missed them, here's the trips:

Nope, nothing serious here.



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Captain Jack Says 07 'We Believe' Warriors Would Beat This Year's Warriors

Stephen Jackson (@DaTrillStak5) says his #Warriors team would beat today's Dubs.@ZachLowe_NBA can't believe it pic.twitter.com/AQvdxpBJNj

— NBA On Def Pen (@NBAOnDefPen) February 25, 2016

No offense Stephen Jackson, but you are outta your goddamn mind if you really believe that.  Sure you beat a 67-15 Mavs team who was the one seed and you guys were 42-40 and the 8 seed.  You lost the next series, these guys went 67-15 last year, won the title, and are off to a 52-5 start, and will repeat this year and very possible break the all time wins record.  Sorry Captain Jack, but these guys would destroy your old Warrior team in a 7 game series.  They'd sweep you and win every game by double digits.  This team is lead by Steph, Klay, and Draymond.  The We Believe squad was headlined by Jackson, Monta Ellis, Baron Davis, J-Rich, and Al Harrington.  Sick bro.  That's a squad that you throw out as awesome jokingly with your buddies.  Because those guys were just entertaining and decent enough in their prime where you can be like remember (insert one of those guys here)? He used to be sick!  Yeah they beat a 1 seed, it was awesome, but thinking you could take down this years Golden State team?  The only people who can still say they'd have a chance are the 72-10 Bulls.  And even then that's close.  So can all these legends/retired bums stop giving their two cents about how the Warriors are overrated?  We get it, your era was the best era, whatever, whatever.  Just shut up and appreciate the greatness.

JJ Watt Dunked A Basketball. People Thought It was Awesome. It Sucked.

Day 4. #Progress pic.twitter.com/pgz1lUUBzB

— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) February 25, 2016

Just the worst.  He's the worst.  #Progress?  What #progress are you making exactly?  #Progress in rehabbing that groin you had surgery on?  Or #progress on your game?  Because if you're making progress on the hardwood you must've SUCKED before.  And sweet you can dunk!  You're only 6'5" and can box jump a billion feet.  If I were 6'5" I'd be doing Zach LaVine type dunks, no big deal.  JJ throws down a rim-grazer and people act like he's fucking LeBron.  I'm 5-11/6-0 (not really sure which, probably still 5-10) and I can grab the rim, but you don't hear me bragging about it.  It's sick.  And that crossover?  LAWD that crossover is BRUTAL.  He looked like a kid with down syndrome learning how to dribble.  Alright maybe not that bad, but I've definitely seen better crossovers when I was playing in the Y league in 1st grade.  This isn't even like "hey this is just me doing my thing in my normal life and I want you all to be a part of it."  This was, "look at me, just look at me over here!  I can dunk!  Pretty cool right?"  Just stop with the act man, just stop, nobody cares about your #progress.  And should you really be dunking if you just had groin surgery?  Or was that just made up  because you sucked ass in the playoff game you lost 30-0?


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Arizona Coach Sean Miller Wants To End Court Storming Because He Thinks A PLAYER Will Eventually Punch A Fan

http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/story/_/id/14841716/sean-miller-arizona-wildcats-blasts-pac-12-court-storming

"But eventually what's going to happen in the Pac-12 is this: An Arizona player is going to punch a fan, and they are going to punch the fan out of self-defense. And only when it happens will everyone take a deep breath and say, 'We have to do something to protect both teams.'"


Slow down there Seanny boy.  You think court storming should be stopped because one of your players is going to punch a fan?  Oh, but it'll be out of self-defense?  Shut up.  If you think any player on your team is at risk of punching a fan during a court storming, for any reason, maybe d-1 college hoops isn't for them.  Court storming are just a part of the game, man.  You can't come out and say all this after you lost to a shitty Colorado team.  And I don't think anything even happened to an Arizona player last night?  Just the entire student body ran onto the court.  Court stormings are awesome, I want to be a part of one, if I get into MSU maybe I will be.  I don't know who we'd have to beat to storm the court, but a man can dream.  But I have a solution to this court storming problem Sean.  Just fucking WIN.  Win and you don't even need to worry about it.  Win and just crush the student's spirits.  Boom, problem solved.


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DAMN GRAYSON! Back At It Again With The Blatant Trips!

Allen with the classy trip... That's #Duke basketball for ya.. 😑 pic.twitter.com/v5xS3tHR0c

— MaxO (@MaxOnole21) February 26, 2016

Do I suck for using a catchphrase from a dumb viral video as my title?  Of course, but you know who sucks even more?  GRAYSON ALLEN.  He trips ANOTHER player.  Duke killed FSU like 80-65 but that won't stop them from doing cocky, childish, pathetic duke shit.  Unbelievable.  I hated this guy enough already and now I have more reason to.  And it's legitimate.  Grayson Allen intentionally tripped a player again.  It doesn't look like much, the guy just ate shit, but Allen keeps this up I guarantee someone actually gets injured.  I don't think Allen really means to hurt anyone, I think he's just a baby from Duke who got frustrated and did some childish shit (again).  But there's no excuse for multiple trips.  Guy's way too good to be doing this shit.  But again, he goes to Duke, and as much as everyone wants to suck off Coach K and proclaim him as the greatest and classiest man to ever live, how come these incidents keep happening with Duke players?  And twice (and counting) in one year for his best player?  Disgraceful.  I'll never have any sympathy for anyone in the Duke program, or who roots for them, or is associated with them in any way.  I need Carolina to beat them by 20+ March 5 like I need air.

The first trip for your viewing leisure:
 
Duke is just the worst.


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Ads

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Lakers do something right. Oppose ads on jerseys

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2617219-lakers-reportedly-oppose-ads-on-jerseys-latest-details-and-reaction


This came out last week and I just never got around to it, probably because of my temporary death thanks to Carolina.  Again, I actually say a lot pro-Laker, or for the best interest of the Lakers and their fans (see anything I wrote about Byron Scott), but I'm not a Laker guy.  I have no problem with them, I don't go out of my way to hate them, I'm just indifferent to them.  I mean the Warriors don't really have a rivalry with them do they?  I've only been a fan since they drafted Steph in '09 and until 2012-13 the Dubs sucked, and since then the Lakers have sucked, so it's not even competitive.  I guess if I grew up in the Bay and the Warriors were always little brother to the Lakers (and Suns, and even the Kings way back when) in the Pacific.  And as a Knicks lifer, they've always sucked and now they both suck and they only play twice a year.  I focus more of my hate on LeBron, the Celtics, and the Clippers nowadays.  Anyway back to the actual story.  I love this, in a time where the Lakers are in a constant tailspin, they do something right.  Not really for their franchise or future, but for the good of everyone.  Ads on jerseys SUCK.  They are the absolute worst.  I enjoy soccer, but seeing big ass ads on their chest is just wrong.  I hate it, I think it's stupid.  The NBA is only growing in popularity (now that people don't care that "all" the players are black and "it's not real basketball") (it is real basketball) so don't tell me they need the money.  That's what the giant screens on the scorer's table are for, and the ads on the court, and literally everywhere in the arena.  Not only are the ads unnecessary but they are ugly as all hell.  People were making a big deal that Nike is going to be allowed to put their logo on the jersey's when they take over in 2017.  That's fine, I'm honestly shocked adidas doesn't have that.  But that's fine, why do you need more?  Adam Silver has done everything right in his time as commissioner so far, but this would be a huge mistake.  I love basketball jerseys, but I won't spend a cent on a jersey that has the KIA logo over where it should say "New York" or any other city or team name.  They're jerseys not NASCARs.


Just look:

This one's here because WNBA already does this.  Looks stupid right?

And two more just for fun:

Classic.

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Kyrie Irving Sat Out Most Of Sunday's Game v OKC Due To 5 "Big Ass Bed Bugs"

http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/14828139/kyrie-irving-cleveland-cavaliers-says-bed-bugs-blame-absence


If you think Kyrie should've manned up and played you are outta your damn mind.  Guy shoulda been flown home IMMEDIATELY.  I give him all the props in the world for even trying to play.  I get hit with bed bugs of any size and quantity, let alone 5 big ass ones on my pillow, I'm spending the rest of the night a different hotel.  Fuck that.  Call me a pussy if you must, but there is no way I'm staying there a second longer.  I always have that thought when I get into a hotel, you know, the one where you wonder if this time is the time you wake up with bed bugs just chewing on ya?  Just look at the things:

I'll give you a second to puke.  You think you're tough enough to battle the bed bugs then go play an NBA game?  Get outta my face.  No one is that tough, that is disgusting.  You got those things crawling on you, then you're going to shake that traumatizing experience and play professional basketball?  Impossible.  And apparently the hotel the Cavs (and everyone but the Bulls) stay at in OKC is also haunted?  Why do teams still go there??  You can't tell me there isn't one hotel in OKC that isn't infested with bed bugs and also not haunted.  It's common sense that bed bugs and ghosts are two things that just shouldn't be fucked with, especially if you're a professional sports team.  One stay at a hotel with bugs eating me in my sleep and ghosts lurking in the dark and I'd probably retire.  But what if the big ass bed bugs were brought on by the ghost?  Gotta find a new hotel every NBA team.  You just have to, because there's only one man who could've helped Kyrie Saturday night, the problem was he was in Scranton, Pennsylvania.

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Canadian Minor League Hockey Player Hits The Air Guitar While His Teammate Fights

Saw this earlier today, thanks to bleacher report's twitter, and expected it to be funny.  They got me, I don't even know what to make of this to be honest.  The guy doing the guitar with his stick just looks like he's a drunk jackass.  Dude looks like he thinks he's funny and really everyone else wishes he'd stop.  Have some respect for the game, guys are fighting.  Dick.  And how old are these guys?  They all look like they're 30+ and still chasing the dream.  Is this actually funny and I'm the asshole?  I expected to see a guy going hard as fuck like that UNF band kid.



Yup this one.  Don't ever hype something up about a guy going nuts unless it's a guy going this nuts.  The UNF band kid is E-LECTRIC.  He is what your weekend should strive to be.  If I could ever have half that much fun I'd be in a good place.  So fuck you bleacher report, have a better sense of humor.

One more time, for the kids:



If you don't even crack a smile at this kid just losing his shit, I don't ever want to meet you under any circumstance.


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Knicks (interim) Head Coach Kurt Rambis Just Casually Liked A Porn Tweet. Or Did He?

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2618736-kurt-rambis-twitter-account-liking-pornographic-tweet-sparks-investigation

Dirty Kurt taking a break from coaching to like a tweet of some chick blasting herself.  What's so wrong about that?  Dude was just scrolling through the feed, saw that chick just hammering herself and enjoyed it, so what?  Can't a man just like a tweet by I Like 2 Touch! about loving female masturbation without public backlash and his employer launching an investigation to prove he was hacked when we all know he wasn't anymore???  For real though, someone's gotta teach grandpa Kurt the rules of social media.  You never know who may be checking up on your likes, it could be literally anyone, and you have 43K followers man.  Gotta know what you're doing, don't let them catch you liking tweets about a chick finger banging.  Ever.  Not even normal people would risk that.  So obviously Coach Kurt isn't normal.  Dude's internet history is probably full of porn, and he's too old to know how to clear it.  Open safari on his phone or computer and it's chicks blasting themselves all over the place.  But again normal people don't like porn tweets, normal people don't retweet porn shit, normal people don't even say anything about porn on social media unless it's a joke.  A very obvious joke.  Kurt is obviously a big porn guy, which would help explain why he has the worst coaching record in NBA history.  Other than him being a terrible coach.  Best part of all this has to be the Knicks launching an investigation to get people to believe that he was hacked.  He wasn't hacked.  Any person of any notoriety who does something stupid online and calls hack, is never hacked.  Nope Kurt's just a dirty old man and now the whole world knows it.  So close to just quitting being a Knicks fan, it'd be tough, but I may have to go full-time Warriors fan even after Steph retires.  But New York just picked up Jimmer, and they have the Latvian Lazer (Porzingis) so I can't.  Classic Knicks.

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Weekend Rewind

So I'm back now, had to take a break to recover from my near death after Carolina blew it and lost to Duke.  Also there wasn't a whole lot going on other than the NBA trade deadline, but I had a lot of homework so I did that instead.  Sorry if you really wanted content from me and didn't get any.  So why don't we start with my Tar Heels?

Carolina Beats 11 Miami 96-71

Yeah, they couldn't put Duke away and they had 3 players, but they can come back and absolutely destroy the number 11 team in the nation.  Perfectly sums up this year.  They'll probably lose to NC State Wednesday and then beat UVA by 20.  Lock up a 1 seed and lose to a 16 seed.  I don't know what to make of the Heels, I'm not getting my hopes up that Saturday's win will be the one that gets them to play like the dominant team they should've been all year.  I'll still pick them in March though, if only because I've been saying they'll win it all since the tourney ended last year.

Duke Falls To Louisville

As much as I hate Duke, Louisville is catching them.  They'll never actually catch them, but they're approaching Duke and Ohio State territory for me.  So are Maryland and Michigan.  But anyway, the officiating was pretty bad if you're a Duke fan.  But if you are a Duke fan do me a favor and take a second to remember that you get the majority of the calls in 99.999999999% of your games, so chill.  Do I need to remind you of Grayson Allen's game winner where he traveled twice and they didn't call it?  Good.  The game itself isn't really what's important, rather these moments are:

Grayson Allen getting hit in the face https://t.co/lNNDE1Kpf8

— David Gardner (@byDavidGardner) February 20, 2016

Nothing more satisfying than a good ol fashioned elbow right to the mouth.  Grayson didn't even need to flop on that one.

On loop forever.

Damian Lillard Has Huge Friday, Anthony Davis Has Bigger Sunday

The NBA returned on Thursday.  Friday the Warriors started their second half of the season in Portland.  I watched a team that's supposed to challenge the all-time wins record play a team that isn't supposed to be anywhere near the playoffs but is currently 7th in the West.  The final score was 137-105.  Guess who won?  Yup, Portland.  You probably already knew that though because everyone was freaking out about it, and trying to call the Warriors overrated.  They played awful and Portland couldn't miss.  Lillard had 51, including going 9/12 from downtown.  It was incredible by him, and the Warriors got murdered, but the beat the Clippers the next day and that's what really matters.  Now AD on the other hand went off for 59 points and 20 rebounds in a 111-106 win for New Orleans over Detroit.  I didn't see that game but you don't need to to know that is an incredible line.  nearly had 60-20, and for all intents and purposes did.  1 point away is good enough in my book.

Yeah, pretty amazing stuff from The Brow.

Other minor notes:

The warriors picked up Anderson Varejao after he was traded from Cleveland to Portland then waived.  They dropped Jason Thompson who rarely played anyway, and they need depth at center right now with Bogut and Festus both hurt.  Varejao does similar things to Bogut, he plays D, hustles, and is a good passer for a big.  Plus his hair is maybe the best in NBA history.

The US women's soccer team easily qualified for the Olympics, so I'll be looking forward to watching my girl Alex Morgan and the squad defend their gold medals this summer.

And an old lady told LeBron to suck it up.  She's my hero now.  She deserves NBA MVP for that.

That's really it for this rewind.  Hope you all enjoyed your weekend.


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UNC-Duke Postgame: Duke Is Actually Killing Me

Maybe it's not the best time for me to be writing this because I am FUMING.  My blood-pressure is through the roof right now.  First credit to Duke for pulling it out of their ass, playing with 6 guys super job.  But Carolina, what the fuck were you doing?  You destroyed PITT Sunday and finally looked like you were done sitting on leads only to inevitably lose them.  Guess not huh?  You let Duke comeback and take it from you.  Brice Johnson dominated, 29 and 19, you lead for about 39 of 40 minutes.  I mean, what the hell?  WHAT THE HELL?  Joel Berry was fouled on his last shot attempt by the way.  He was.  You can tell me I have no right to complain about the refs because Duke didn't get every call, but the last 2 minutes every time a Carolina player brushed against a Blue Devil it was called, then Thornton throws his body into Berry and the refs swallow their whistle.  I mean they always do at the end of games.  Example:

Note the 3 steps (you're only allowed 2 otherwise it's a travel if you were unaware) and then this:

You can't land with the ball still in your hand either.  Also a travel.  Basically I've decided Duke and the Seattle Seahawks are the same.  Shit just falls their way ALL THE TIME.  It's absolutely unbelievable how lucky those shitheads are.  The game was Carolina's and they choked so bad.  I think a large part of me died today, I think I need to just give up at this point.  That's 4 straight losses to Duke, 6 if you include the Badgers.  Coach K is a motherfucker too.  Gotta throw that in there.  I mean what can I say, Carolina lost that game, Duke didn't win it, the Heels lost it, just gave it away.  I'm sure they'll shit the bed in cameron indoor in March too.  And learn to coach Roy Williams.  How do you not call a timeout and set something up for Johnson or Paige?  I usually like letting them just play, but not there Justin Jackson and Joel Berry had the ball on the last possession, disgusting.

Derryck Thornton with the HUGE swat to give Duke the unbelievable win over rival UNC. https://t.co/qR8cZgTzx9

— ESPN College BBall (@ESPNCBB) February 18, 2016

If you tell me that's not a foul then you're trolling me.  God I hate Duke.



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Some of the Best Carolina Plays vs Duke

The day is here, Carolina v Duke.  A team a love vs a team I hate.  The best rivalry in college sports, and here's some of the best plays from the Carolina side.  (There won't be a post of plays from the Duke side, why would I waste my time with that?)

Quickly my prediction is that UNC will win 86-73.  The Heels have four great big guys, and they like to play through them.  Duke's interior defense is AWFUL.  It's so bad.  Plus Carolina's perimeter D is really good when they decide to play it so I think they can keep Allen and Ingram in check.

Jerry Stackhouse reverses it on two Duke defenders.


Wallace and Stackhouse put on a dunking clinic.


Danny Green puts Paulus 6 feet under with a huge jam.


The GOAT drops 32 on Duke.


The 2014 comeback turned big win lead by Marcus Paige and JMM.


Marvin Williams wins it in '05.





Psycho-T and Danny Green go 4-0 in Cameron Indoor.

And an honorable mention because this would probably be number one if VC would've put it down.





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Duke Student Goes To UNC and Gets UNC Students To Say Good Things About Duke Players

This kid is THE worst.  Not one thing about this video is likable, or even that funny.  Way to pick the kids that look like they would know what they're talking about.  Nice 2015 champs t-shirt you albino slim shady looking ass.  How much bleach do you put in your hair anyway?  Again, nice job picking on the nerds for your unoriginal video.  Classic dropping a shirt in the store and acting like that sweatshirt burns as you put it on!  Nice shades too, you dork.  God duke fans make my skin crawl with their douchebaggery.  Pick one kid who looks like they'd know something about basketball, please!  Actually I bet those kids were actually all plants, which would make this video somehow less funny.  I mean just look at this asshole:

"Siiiiiick, I just got this Indian geek to say something about UNC respecting Laettner!  Classic!"  So rad bro.  Christ go back to Durham and suck coach K's dick some more.  This can't be real, if it is those kids can't be allowed to go to Carolina.  I cannot wait for tomorrow, Duke's gonna need body bags for the ride back to Durham.  Calling Carolina by at LEAST 20.  Fuck Duke.  Hail Carolina.

I'll have more on the Carolina-Duke game tomorrow.

PS- Bro, at least the girls at UNC are actually hot, unlike the trolls that attend Duke.


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Manny Pacquiao Calls Gay Couples "Worse Than Animals." (Non) Apologizes For It

http://www.sbnation.com/2016/2/16/11014926/manny-pacquiao-comments-gay-couples-philippines-sentate-tv-statement-boxing

I'm sorry for hurting people by comparing homosexuals to animals. Please forgive me for those I've hurt. God Bless! pic.twitter.com/bqjRcWqp8R

— Manny Pacquiao (@mannypacquiao) February 16, 2016

Pac-man coming in HOT with one of the worst takes in history.  Awful, awful, awful take.  Worse than animals?  And science says that there are gay animals Manny.  Wake the fuck up bro.  Read a book, or a science magazine, or just have common sense.  I want to know what part of him thought that was an ok thing to say, and people weren't going to freak out about it and force him into an apology?  A classic lame ass bullshit apology too by the way.  Vintage scumbag non-apology.  What an ass backwards thing to say.  But he's been saying stuff like that his whole life, how he can think he's right is beyond me though.  And on one final note, if people's sexual orientation bothers you (not just talking to Manny here but to everyone) you're pathetic.  I could not care less if you're a guy who likes other guys or a guy who likes girls, same goes for if your a girl who likes other girls, or one who likes guys.  Do not care, it doesn't affect me, it doesn't affect anyone but that person.  The fact that's even an issue, and people think like Manny is really sad, another person's sexuality has zero impact on anyone but them, so just let them be.  Not to get all high and mighty, but damn, it seriously shouldn't matter at all. (Also I'm in a tangenty/ranty mood today.) So there, that's my take on this.  Just maybe the most ignorant quote of 2016 so far, Pac-man setting the bigotry bar high in February already.


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Ronda Rousey Says She Contemplated Suicide After Getting Her Ass Kicked

http://espn.go.com/mma/story/_/id/14785901/ronda-rousey-says-considered-suicide-loss-holly-holm

First thing, suicide is no laughing matter at all, and I genuinely mean that.  But Ronda?  Like it or not you're still the face of women's UFC and saying one loss made you want to kill yourself?  I know it was a brutal loss and it took you from being one of the most badass people on the planet to know people don't really care anymore, but still.  That's not the heart of a champion.  The Ronda we know would talk mad shit about Holm right now, then go get back in that octagon and get her ass kicked again.  But your loser UFC boyfriend is what kept you going?  Correct me if I'm wrong but didn't he beat his ex?  And you want HIS kids?  Oh, sorry, the exact quote was "I need to have his babies.  I need to stay alive."  Props to you for fighting through that suicide phase, but if someone actually says they need to "have his babies" not jokingly, they're psychotic.  Just the phrasing is way to weird for me.  Just say have his kids.  Not babies, maybe I'm alone in that thinking but that just comes off far to aggressive to me.  A girl says she wants to "have my babies" seriously (that's never happened I'm just saying IF it did) I'm GONE.  Off her radar forever.  Now if it were "have my kids" that's ok.  Not right now it isn't because I'm 20 and going to college which I'll spend the rest of my goddman life paying for, but that wouldn't make me the least bit uncomfortable if I were like minimum 26/27 (again guessing, but this time about the ages.)  But anyway, Ronda was outclassed by Holm, no question.  I'm already pumped for the rematch (I didn't watch the first one) so pumped I'll pay for it.  Not the whole thing myself, but split it with some friends, or watch it at a bar.  I actually want Ronda to win, and just go back to beating girls in under 15 seconds, because that is insane and fun to watch. New mopey, serious Ronda is kind of a drag.  Give me brash, loud-mouth, cocky Ronda any day.



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NBA ALL STAR WEEKEND RECAP (sorry it's a day late)

So this past all-star weekend was one of the best I can remember.  Friday with the celeb game and rising stars game was it's usual self.  Kevin Hart being ridiculous in the celeb game, and rookies firing threes and wide open dunks, which is still kinda fun, it was actually a close game so it was worth watching actually.  One huge take away from the celebrity game was Jason Sudeikis's jumper.  Dude's got a wet stroke.

SHOOTER!  Also Olivia Wilde is basically perfect too.  Sudeikis has game on and off the hardwood. Anyway, let's get to what was really the highlight; Saturday night.  Oh, what a night it was, every event was awesome.  The skills challenge went from being like something you have on in the background while you wait for the 3-point and dunk contests.  But involving bigs was genius, and something The Starters on NBATV (I recommend watching them, great show) have always advocated for and you could see why.  Karl-Anthony Towns beat my pick to win, Isiah Thomas.  Thomas let him shoot before he did because he thought he'd make it, but I think it took about three shots for Towns to knock it in and actually win it.

Love the other bigs going nuts after he wins it.  After that Kevin Hart almost tied Draymond Green in a 3 point contest, but his last make was after the buzzer so he didn't.  But now onto the 3 point contest.  Steph and Klay put on a show.

Klay picked up the W, beating Steph and tying his record.  You know he was keeping track because his second to last shot actually won it, and he almost didn't shoot the last one, then he kinda went "oh shit" picked it up and of course put it in.  Cool to see Steph storm the court after Klay won, best backcourt in the game for a reason.  But the dunk contest was maybe the best in my lifetime.  The only other one in contention would be the Vince Carter show in 2000, but Zach LaVine and Aaron Gordon had a dunk off for the ages.  I was almost jumping off my couch after every dunk those two threw down.  LaVine won it though, his first dunk was better, and people got bored of the free throw line dunks LaVine kept pulling out.  So before I show you the highlights let me address that.  THE FREE THROW LINE IS 15 FEET FROM THE BASKET. 15 FEET. THE RIM IS 10 FEET ABOVE THE GROUND.  LAVINE MADE IT LOOK EASY.  TOO EASY.  THAT IS INSANE.  There, feels good to get that off my chest.  So enjoy the LaVine-Gordon show it was amazing.

Wow right?  The actual all-star game wasn't much, the final was 196-173 the West won.  Steph threw down two actually impressive dunks and and hit a half courter at the end of the game.  No defense, LeBron actually missed a dunk so I'm now inclined to think Steph is a better dunker that LeBron.  Not really but it's fun to say to people.  So if you actually watched it hope you enjoyed it (we both know you enjoyed it) and if you didn't hope this was a nice little recap for you.  Now I just gotta wait for the playoffs.


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I Made a Video

So I've spent some time making over the last week or so making a video of Steph Curry highlights.  I think it's pretty good, but I may be a bit biased.  So here it is and if you like it go over to youtube and show it some love! (click like and share and subscribe to my channel, etc.)

 

NBA ALL-STAR WEEKEND: ALL-STAR SATURDAY NIGHT

So tonights the big night, the night that's even better than the all-star game itself, All-Star Saturday Night.  No more Shooting Stars this year, but there will be the skills competition, 3-point contest, and dunk contest.  So before I go doing what I did last night and hit you with some all-time great moments, I'll predict who I think will win each event.

TACO BELL SKILL CHALLENGE

The Field:

Emmanuel Mudiay

CJ McCollum

Isiah Thomas

Jordan Clarkson

Draymond Green

Anthony Davis

DeMarcus Cousins

Karl-Anthony Towns

My pick:  Isiah Thomas

I'm taking Celtics guard Isiah Thomas in a field that for the first time ever features big men (Green, Davis, Cousins, and Towns).  The key to this event is not only speed but being able to hit the 3 at the end, that's the only reason Patrick Beverly won it last year, he was getting killed both times he was running it and won because he hit that 3.  I think Thomas is most likely to hit it quick, with McCollum a close second.  I actually can't wait to see the big men do it, I just think they'll struggle to hit that 3 at the end fast enough, the only one I can see winning it would be Draymond Green.

FOOT LOCKER 3 POINT CONTEST

The Field:

Stephen Curry

Klay Thompson

Devin Booker

JJ Redick

James Harden

Kyle Lowry

Khris Middleton

CJ McCollum (replacing Chris Bosh)

My Pick: Stephen Curry

C'mon did you really think I'd take anyone else?  If you've read my stuff before you probably know that I love Steph, have since I was 12 and I saw him drop 40 on Gonzaga in the 2008 NCAA tourney. He's the best shooter ever.  Though he is 1-3 in 3 point contests but he's too good.  Other guys I like are Klay, JJ Redick, and Suns rookie Devin Booker.  All are just natural pure shooters, the other guys I think are more game shooters and may struggle.  Last year Redick may have made the finals but a bunch of his makes were discounted because he had a foot on the line, so he may be dangerous, and Klay won't want to lose to his teammate again.  Should be a great 3 point contest though, I love watching shooters shoot and there are some great shooters in this field.

VERIZON SLAM DUNK

The Field:

Zach LaVine

Will Barton

Aaron Gordon

Andre Drummond

My Pick:  Zach LaVine

Yup, I'm taking another defending champ.  Why?  Take a look:

Yeah.  He was doing ridiculous dunks and they looked EXTREMELY easy for him.  Also just watch his Seattle Pro-Am dunk contest, this guy is going to be a staple in the dunk contest for a long time.


So as promised here's a bunch of stuff from past all-star Saturday's:

Steph wins his first 3 point contest


The team Bosh shooting stars 3peat:


Jason Kapono ties Craig Hodges record


Craig Hodges sets the record for points and makes (makes still stands)


Mike sets the record for fewest points in a 3 point contest


Larry Legend wins in his warm-up


Jordan vs Nique

full 88 dunk contest


NBA H.O.R.S.E a short lived event


J-Rich dunk contest highlights



And finally the greatest dunk contest performance ever by Mr. Vincent Lamar Carter
(full contest)


(just Vince's dunks)






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NBA ALL STAR WEEKEND: FRIDAY (CELEBRITY GAME & RISING STARS CHALLENGE)

It's All-Star weekend!  The only better parts of the NBA season are the playoffs, and opening night.  It's also the best all-star weekend/period.  The Pro-Bowl (NFL) is terrible, just awful, I haven't watched it in probably 8 years no joke.  MLB has the Home Run Derby which always fails to live up to the lowest of expectations and on top of that you have to listen to Chris Berman the whole time.  Their all-star game is baseball, which can be extremely boring and usually is.  I watched the NHL all-star weekend this year and I was impressed.  I watch hockey basically only during the playoffs and it was good.  But there isn't a thing I hate about NBA all-star weekend.  Celebrity game is usually enjoyable, Rising Stars Challenge always provides highlights.  Saturday night is amazing.  The skills challenge, followed by the 3-point contest and then the dunk contest.  And the all-star game?  26 of the best players on the entire planet playing a pick-up game?  If you don't enjoy that then you probably don't like basketball.  That's fine just don't ever talk to me then.  So since it's All-Star Friday Night here's some of the best moments from the Celebrity Game and Rising Stars Challenge alike.















Hope you enjoyed that small sampling if you watched them.  Happy All-Star Weekend!



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LeBron James Hits D'Angelo Russell With A Pass Right Where No Man Should Be Hit With A Pass. His Dick. That's Where It Hit Him.

Right in the dick.  No mercy from King James on that bullet.  What, you thought you could throw the pass through Russell?  He was right there the whole time.  Was it intentional?  Probably not but LeBron should be banned for life if it was.  One thing you can't do to another man is fire a basketball at mach 10 right at his dick.  Not cool Bron.  He even went to Ohio State!  "Your" school, and that's the treatment he gets?  You thought Byron Scott and the Kobe farewell tour was the worst thing to happen to D'Angelo Russell this year?  Nuh-uh, this is.  I'd retire.  I take a missile to the manhood and I am OUT.  Take my last check and get a job at ESPN because they hire anyone who played a sport professionally no matter how good they were/smart they are.  I've honestly never seen a pass that hard, that thing was like a spiral from ol Gunslinger Brett Favre himself.  I'm surprised that pass didn't just make a hole in Russell.  LeBron heard the Lakers weren't hazing the rook so he took matters into his own hands and made D'Angelo sterile.  Gotcha rook!  I mean if he wanted to get the ball to Shumpert or whoever that was so bad he could've passed it to Mo Williams right next to him and he could've swung it to Shump.  You didn't need hit Russell with a dick-seeking missile.  I feel bad for D'Angelo.  Not meeting expectations this year, playing for a Laker team that is a mess right now, and now he's probably dickless.  Sad situation, I hope he pulls through and still has a great career but this is definitely a setback.  #Pray4D'angelo

Duke G Grayson Allen Captures The Essence Of Duke Basketball By Tripping An Opponent.

Stop me if you've heard this one before, but a spoiled Duke player got frustrated and thought he could just trip an a opposing player!

You can not tell me that wasn't intentional.  I know I'm biased in the sense that I hate Duke, I hate their players, I hate their fans, I hate Coach K, and basically everything they stand for.  But he's staring right at him!  He knew full well what he was doing, he raised the one leg and it was so blatantly obvious he was trying to trip him.  He didn't even try and hide it.  Classic spoiled Duke brat getting mad (probably thought he was fouled on the drive leading to this) and so he resorted to cowardly playground tactics.  If there was ever a year to lock Duke in for a first round loss this is it.  Not only because they always walk on the court and expect to win just because of the name on the front of their jersey, but because they're doing shit like this now.  But then again it's nothing new, that holy all-knowing basketball god rat-faced slime ball (Coach K) must be teaching that move, because let's take a look back at last years Carolina-Duke game in Chapel Hill:

Pretty similar right?  I thought Duke was a place of basketball purity?  Home of the best of the best with a classy coach who plays the game the right way?  Sure seems like a program that likes to do a lot of cheap shit (with no consequence from Coach K by the way) like these tripping incidents, or for example when Christian Laettner stomped on a Kentucky player wayyy back in the day:


Or when Gerald Henderson straight clubbed Tyler Hansbrough:


And their classy coach sure does like to try and run up the score as much as he can when he's playing division 8 schools/girls high school teams at Cameron Indoor.  But hey maybe that's just me, it's not, but maybe it is.  Let's take one more look at a Duke player doing something dirty shall we?

Nothing says class and winning the right way like a flying kick to clear a little space!  Just a savvy move by Winslow there right?  Nothing dirty there.  I'm so happy those losers suck this year.  Losing really does bring out a team's true colors.  Hail Carolina.

LeSean McCoy (Allegedly) Assaulted Philly Police Officers

http://bills.buffalonews.com/2016/02/09/lesean-mccoy-a-suspect-in-philadelphia-club-assault/
http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/14739760/buffalo-bills-rb-lesean-mccoy-involved-altercation-3-duty-police-officers-philadelphia

So, a bottle of champagne caused this?  Damn, not like you're a professional athlete who could easily afford another bottle of champagne, even though that one was the cops in the first place?  If I read that correctly.  So then you just beat the living shit out of the guy?  You and 3 other guys?  If this is true then LeSean's really been showing how much of a shit head he really is since being shipped to Buffalo.  He's kinda ripped on Philly since then too right?  I wouldn't think he'd even be allowed back in the city.  At least Rex Ryan has one guy that's bought in to the "building a bully" thing.  LeSean really took that to heart as he and his bros beat up some Philly cops.



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Knicks Fire Head Coach Derek Fisher

http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/14739795/new-york-knicks-fire-coach-derek-fisher-23-31-start-season

Derek Fisher is out as head coach of the New York Knicks.  What does this mean?  Well hopefully better things to come next year and going forward.  This was weird timing by Phil, I know the All-Star break starts Thursday, so why not wait until then?  Was Phil planning for that then just got fed up and went "eh, close enough?"  Fisher wasn't much of a coach, granted last years team was a dumpster fire, but started with a team that almost made the playoffs the year before.  He did nothing with them so that's when they shipped JR and Shumpert out.  This years team definitely has East 8 seed talent, but again they're not playing all that well.  Leaps and bounds better than last year, but that's not saying much after they amassed 17 wins.  Now they're 23-31 and have been awful lately.  They start really slow a lot of the time, and most the time they build a big lead they let it slip away.  So I think a lot of that's coaching.  NBA coaching isn't as "hands on" as the NFL but you gotta have your guys ready to play and motivated and Fisher never really did either.  So now Kurt Rambis has been named interim Head Coach and he has one of the worst coaching records of all time.  Now some candidates have been Tom Thibodeau, who's a great defensive guy but doesn't really play young guys that much and plays a smaller amount of guys big minutes.  I still think he's a great coach and he's proven he is.  Luke Walton has obviously been mentioned, having coached Golden State while Steve Kerr recovered from back surgery.  He did have one of the best teams of all time so that makes it a little easier.  Still to get those guys to take him seriously speaks to his ability to lead a team, at least in my mind.  I hope Phil doesn't make him run the triangle, I hope he's allowed to run a system more like the Warriors run, free-flowing with a whole lotta ball movement.  I think the triangle is out-dated and if Phil is so hellbent on running it then his old ass should just coach.  Prove to me it can still work in today's NBA.  Another name floating around is Brian Shaw, I don't think he's anything special though, he took a Denver team that was a 3 seed in the West in 2013 to a lottery team before being fired last season.  I think Phil should look at Mark Jackson, he may not be a triangle guy, but he developed Golden State into a playoff team.  All in all I think it's a good move for the long term, especially if we can get Walton.  Now I need Phil and the front office to get this year's draft pick back.  Or some lottery pick because I really want to see Kentucky's Jamal Murray drafted by the Knicks.


It's been real Fish.

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SUPER BOWL 50 RECAP

Broncos 24 Panthers 10

Well after all the hype, especially for Carolina, in the end we saw maybe the most anti-climatic Super Bowl ever?  The Panthers looked awful all game, the Broncos looked just less awful.  The Broncos defense was amazing though, I said for Denver to win they'd need an early lead and for their defense to play big again and that's what they did.  Great way for Peyton to end his career, he hasn't actually declared retirement yet but I can't imagine he'll play again.  The commercials were very disappointing yet again, and I can't wait to be writing the Packers victory blog this time next year.  So let's get into the highlights of SB50.

Steph got the day started with an all-time great performance hitting the Panthers big ass drum:

Gaga actually had a pretty great National Anthem.  So good the sign language lady was getting SUPER into it.  She actually went over 2:20 which if you read my prop bets I didn't think she would. It was like 2:21 too.  I also think she's uncomfortable to look at.  But here's the anthem:

Then Denver opened the scoring with a vintage Manning field goal drive.  Ensuing Panther possession this catch by Jericho Cothchery was ruled a drop:

pic.twitter.com/Ba2YFjZzo5

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

Then Denver would increase their lead with a defensive touchdown off a Von Miller strip sack of Cam Newton.

Von Miller sack causes Cam Newton fumble, Jackson touchdown. pic.twitter.com/HYPFo6MOUy

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

That would be the first of 3 lost fumbles for the Panthers.
Aqib Talib  would have two personal foul penalties in the first half including this taunting penalty:

Aqib Talib taunting penalty. pic.twitter.com/aj8OzHrZYS

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

Then this facemask where he tries to rip Philly Brown's head right off his shoulders:

Aqib Talib facemask penalty pic.twitter.com/ikaO2MkvqO

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

 That set up the touchdown by Johnathan Stewart and he got UP:

Jonathan Stewart leaps in for the touchdown. pic.twitter.com/qTee4InRaY

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

 About the only impact Luke Kuechly had on the game was when he put Demaryius Thomas in a body bag:

Luke Kuechly hit on Demaryius Thomas. pic.twitter.com/Cr0gIL7Mzt

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

Jordan Norwood almost had the first punt return touchdown in Super Bowl history:

Kevin Norwood 61 yard return pic.twitter.com/yXmB9yT0tt

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

Mike Tolbert had fumble number 2 for Carolina:

Mike Tolbert fumble. Darian Stewart on the hit. pic.twitter.com/NQNsM7UL68

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

Then the Sheriff gave it right back with a horrible throw:

Kony Ealy one hand interception of Peyton Manning pic.twitter.com/5yk2DzG4ez

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

Not much else happened the rest of the first half bringing us to the halftime show.
Halftime show review: 4/10.  Coldplay blew.  I expected more to be honest, but Beyonce and Bruno Mars having a sing/dance off was amazing.  Absolutely electrifying performance by the guest stars.  Here it is again, or just here if you didn't see it last night:

Sorry the quality isn't that great but it was the only full one with this good audio quality.

So on to the second half now.
Early on Grahm Gano had a chance to cut the lead to 13-10 but missed the field goal:

Graham Gano missed field goal. pic.twitter.com/3YEEBsJhVx

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

  Panthers were driving then Cam threw a pick:

T.J. Ward intercepts Cam Newton. pic.twitter.com/6HdOxKjNxa

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

Denver added a field goal to build a 16-7 lead and to start the 4th Carolina stripped Peyton:

Peyton Manning fumble recovered by the Panthers. pic.twitter.com/qZffbmBToK

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

Later in the 4th Von Miller stripped Cam for the second time:

Von Miller causes Cam Newton to fumble pic.twitter.com/t6I1FA4rj0

— ⓂarcusD (@_MarcusD_) February 8, 2016

That would seal it for Denver, from there they had CJ Anderson punch it in then they ran out the clock and Carolina couldn't get down the field at all.  Denver owner Pat Bowlen's scary wife said some words.  Von Miller was named game MVP, and John Elway screamed that the win was for Pat. Peyton kissed Papa John and then talked about crushing some buds.  Plus Aqib Talib ate shit running to the CBS desk, and Cam walked out of the post game presser.  All that is right here:



"Business is always personal."-Michael Scott



Lombardi in one hand, bud heavy in the other.

A+ surgery.  You don't look at all grotesque and won't give kids nightmares.

Congrats Pat.

Oh man, classic Aqib!! Hey you know what was really funny?  When you almost tore a players head from his body!

Panthers Cam Newton barely answered questions and here he exits pic.twitter.com/eNMDpv2sQH

— Cam Inman (@CamInman) February 8, 2016

That's all I got.  Hope you found a way to enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday since the game and commercials sucked.  Here's to hoping the NFL soon moves the game to Saturday.


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Super Bowl Commercials

As I'm waiting for kickoff, here's some classic Super Bowl commercials past and more recent past.  Enjoy!






















Enjoy the 2016 Super Bowl commercials.  Oh, and the game.

SUPER BOWL 50 PREDICTION (Also Prop Bet Predictions)

Carolina Panthers v Denver Broncos

Prediction: Carolina 28 Denver 13

Why?: In my opinion these are the two best defenses in the NFL playing tonight, unfortunately for Denver their offense is abysmal and Carolina's offense is one of the best.  For the Broncos to have a chance they'll need to start strong like they did against New England in the AFCCG.  I can't see Denver winning this game if they need to comeback down 2 scores and have to rely on Peyton's arm, because he doesn't have one anymore.  The Panthers should be able to slow down that vaunted Denver pass rush with a better offensive line than the Pats have, and the ability to run the football, and the willingness to try and run it.  NE's lack of running allowed Denver to keep bringing pressure at Tom Brady.  Cam's ability to make plays with his legs will be huge today since Carolina's receivers are garbage and Denver's secondary is really good.  I said before I think it's Carolina's year and I still believe that.  Not saying there isn't a chance for Denver to win, I just think it's almost impossible.

Now on to some fun stuff:

SUPER BOWL 50 PROP BETS

Odds and stuff here: http://www.sbnation.com/nfl/2016/2/1/10880632/super-bowl-50-prop-bets-mvp-national-anthem-coin-toss

(note: do not use these predictions as actual advice for gambling, some of them may be jokes) (second note: I started doing them all then realized there was about a trillion of them so I started doing the ones I wanted so you can use the link to see them all.)

Entertainment:

How long will the National Anthem last?

Lady Gaga is singing it and the over/under is 2:20.  I'm taking the under because most of the time it doesn't last that long.  I know Gaga loves putting on a show, but I also think that she doesn't really carry notes for forever so I'm calling less than 2:20.

Will Peyton Manning announce his retirement in his postgame interview?

No.  Why?  As much as I think Peyton likes the little dramatic flair, I think he waits until some time in the offseason.  If Denver wins I think he does, but I don't think they will, so I think he waits.

How many times will dab or dabbing be said on the broadcast?

The over/under is 2, I go over because Jim Nantz just loves to ramble and point out random shit nobody cares one bit about instead of actually doing his job and calling the game.  I'd raise this over/under to about 10,000 and I'd still take the over.

Will Peyton Manning be seen crying at any point during the broadcast?

No.  He may be a dork but he's also a man.  You think the man who but his sack and butthole on a Tennessee trainers head cries during a football game?  Sherif don't cry, that's that.

How many times will Cam Newton be seen doing the open shirt Superman motion during the game?

Over/under is 2.5 and I take the under.  We haven't really seen the supercam that much this year have we?  They're only counting from kick off to end of game not halftime either, so I don't think he'll do it more than twice.  I think he does it in his intro for sure but that isn't during the game so it wouldn't count.

If Steph Curry is seen during the broadcast what will he be wearing?

Well it's supposed to be in the low 70's at game time (A+ research, you're welcome) so I go with his personalized Carolina jersey, if it were colder I'd say no jersey, but he loves that Curry Panthers jersey so I'm going with that.

Will Mike Carey be wrong about a challenge?

Is Mike Carey ever right about a challenge?

Will there be an earthquake during the game?

No.  If you say yes then you're either a psychic, lunatic, or you have a gambling problem.

Will the Panthers give their first TD ball to a boy or girl?

Well I think the last two games it's been girl, but since I am not a slave to trends I go boy.

How many times will the Golden Gate Bridge been shown during the broadcast?

Not counting halftime and after the game starts.  Over/under is .5.  Over easily.  Sportscasts love their landmarks and blimp shots.

How many times will "John Fox" be said?

Over/under is 1, I'll go under.

How many times will Archie Manning be shown?

Over under is 1.5 and I take the over because I think they'll get a shot or two of Archie and the Manning's near the end of the game.

How many times will Elway be shown?

About 36 billion, so I'll take the over on 2.5.

What color liquid (gatorade) will be poured on the winning coach?

Orange.  When the Panthers beat Arizona they dumped orange on him so why would they change flavors for the Super Bowl?

Who will the Super Bowl MVP mention first?

You'd think God, but I'd go teammates here.

What song will Coldplay open with?

Gonna be honest, don't know a ton of Coldplay.  But I've seen strong indications it'll be Viva La Vida so that's what I'll go with.

What color footwear will Beyonce be wearing when she comes on stage?

Gonna play it safe here and go with black, I think that'd be the play with almost every artist.

Will "left shark" make an appearance in the halftime show?

No, this is the stupidest prop bet of all time, why would he come back?  He did his thing for Katy Perry and that was that.

How many wings will Buffalo Wild Wings sell?

Over/under is 12 million.  So if 1 million people order/go to Bdubs, and get 12 wings you're there already.  I go wayyyy over, official wing prediction: 33 million wings.

Team/Game:

Coin Toss

Tails never fails.

Will the ref redo the toss?

Not unless he's that stupid motherfucker from the Green Bay Arizona game.

Will the team that calls it be right?

Yes, it's a gut thing on this one.

Team to score first?

Carolina all day long.

Team that scores first wins?

Well, I'm taking Carolina to score first and win so yes.

Highest scoring quarter?

I'll go first, because Peyton Manning's arm will fall off his body sometime in the second and then it'll be all downhill for the Broncos.  Also Carolina always starts strong.

Will either team score 3 unanswered times?

I'll say Carolina does.

Longest touchdown?

Over/under is 44.5 yards, I think Carolina has a huge play in them so I'll take that over.

Special teams or defensive TD?

Carolina has one in each of it's playoff games so I'll say yes.  I think they get a pick 6 at some point.

Margin of Victory?

Well I predicted Carolina by 15 so I gotta stick with it right?  WRONG!  Nah, I will.

MVP?

Cam Newton, don't outthink yourself here, if you're taking Carolina it'd be stupid to take anyone but Cam.  If you want to take a risk though you could go Luke Kuechly but anyone else and I'll assume you need a helmet when you're out in public.

First TD scorer?

Well I don't think they'll count Cam for a TD pass, but I'm taking Johnathan Stewart.  Another safe pick, though I don't think it's a popular one.  I think they'll drive it down and let him punch it in.

(I'm going to skip the player props)

Cross-sport:

Carolina Super Bowl champs and Golden State Warriors NBA champs?

Yes.  If you say no then it's because you hate one or both of these teams.  If you genuinely hate either or both these teams you're an asshole who hates fun.  #factsonly

Denver wins Manning retires and Spurs win NBA and Duncan retires?

No, Denver isn't winning and the Spurs aren't making the Finals.  Also I think Tim Duncan is never going to retire, I don't think he's aged in 8 years, he's forever how he is and will play basketball until the end of time.

That's it.  Want to see all the props I didn't predict?  Then click the link I have before I start all the prop bets.

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